The interpretation of fate
bound into the silence of a nightmare
hope waring for control
in winter’s deep embrace
spring dies and with it beginnings beginning
dialect of the moon
made heart beautiful
but devoured in one sitting
where the pain
washes overwhelm
the season of death is upon us
marked on the marquee
headliner passing through
last wind on a becalmed sea
last kiss before the fall
the leap
the choice to make a place between darkness and light
always feeling the pull deeper into the Ravens embrace
simpler to lose the self than to make the hard choices
fly to you and hold you
breathing in the scent of your hair and the thousands of thoughts we never got around to saying
by the time I understood
I was past understanding
interpret the sticks and see the uncertain
a thousand thousand parallel selves cut to ribbons on the rocks
steps of the future
jump subtle and light
it’s all confusion
because confusion is better than sad
I don’t want this ending
I only want you.
Month: April 2016
Freedom is hard won
About 2 months ago I made a realization that a burden I was carrying from the death Of my Morgan, was not mine to carry. That realization has set me free. The endless cycle of depression has been broken. I still feel sad sometimes but that’s normal. I did everything I could for Morgan. Her death is not my fault. So I am complete. Whole for the first time in years. Able to be the person I was back then, but more. Having learned introspection, learned compassion and many other things. I stand ready at the dawn of a new day.
Share this:
Garden without the goddess
I sit in a garden waiting for it’s owner to come back.
She who causes my heart to soar and bleed with her words.
I wait, because this place is hers and someday, she may come back
I wait, because my heart demands I walk in its rows and amidst it’s ripening and look out
over the horizon to see her coming back.
I close my eyes and remember.
Kissed by the sun, blessed by the wind and the lightly falling rain.
I wait.
I’ll keep coming by. Watering the plants. Talking as if you were there. always hoping that I’ll turn around, and you’ll be there.
But I fear, this garden and the words you shout, are all I have left.
Share this:
Softly dying
In the complications of morning
The heat of the coming day
My heart has started trembling
Begging you to stay
Life, it runs in circles
And I am lost within
Just stay with me awhile
I’ve lost the will to win
I’m right back at beginning
Stay in the dying light
The softest breathe of mourning
I long to make it right
But stay with me, my lover
And drink my blood like wine
I am lost, forsaken
I fear, it may be time
Share this:
Penned in
You’ve missed nothing
There’s nothing here to miss
Just an avalanche of words
Blowing in maelstrom like autumn leaves
Just my truths left on the ground
Trapped by being written
I wish it were otherwise
That your touch on my skin would be physical reality
But no, just this story we play
But no, just a dream
Share this:
Point of departure
You think you have forever, that you will see them later, that you have time, but it’s just not true. The person that brightens your life today could be gone by the afternoon. Tell the people in your life that you love them, they could just as easily be gone tomorrow.
Share this:
Loneliness of distance
The Moon howls the echoed glory of the sun
Stealing it’s light to illume the darkness
Hoping to glimpse her lover
the Night
Burning so bright she cannot see him all around her
Share this:
The fiercest flame
The thought of her skin
The softness of her as my hands run over her
The feel of the hairs on her arms
Running fingers lightly over, barely touching
Teasing
The slap of leather to skin
The sound of her voice, whispering through my bones
Painfull moans
She kneels in first position, head bowed
I reach down, running hand along jawline
Tilt her lovely face to mine
“You are my very good girl”
Her smile, and her eyes, shining with pride
Her reply, “thank you, Sir”
My heart full to bursting,
Fierce pride, joy filling every inch
My submissive, my girl, my miss
Mine.
Share this:
Down in the funk
I have no thoughts I have not thunk
No feelings I have not felt
And no words I have not written
I’m sitting here in neutral waiting for a push or a pain, or a new, or a kiss
Just something other than the same or the old, I’ve done these things alone
Let me see it with new eyes
Walk with me awhile
Share this:
Heartache haiku
Wish it as simple
As, we met and fell in love
But complicated
Pelgris 