The heart catches
The stutter of a skipping beat
The memory blossoms
Reaping last vestiges
Hopes forgiven
Jealousies forgotten
As the light fades
As the quiet deepens
Last breathe
Before dawn
Month: August 2017
Just a thought
Not being able to fall out of love is a hell I’d not wish on anyone. It’s the state I find myself in. It fades but the smallest hint or hope brings it flooding back. The truth is, once I fall, I fall forever. Is it lucky or horrible that I can love multiple people completely? To live torn apart like this, when I am single and to fall again when not. Life is a cruelty.
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Held lightly and with consent
I hate when my people are hurting
I know they aren’t mine mine, despite my desire, but I can’t help how I feel. I want them happy or at least content and I wish I could help other than by just being there. I wish I was allowed to. I wish I could sweep them into my arms and at least hold them. And make sure they know that they are loved. I’m not much for jokes so I can’t give laughter most days, but I can give safety and words of beauty. And actions of care, if I am allowed, though I rarely am.
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To linger too long
We all see it looming
The Herald of dawn’s breathe turning
The task undone
The words not spoke
Counterpoint, spoke too much
Our regrets pile on pile
Against Dwindling hopes
Until hope is lost
And only the dull rust of the blade
Thrust haphazard into flesh remains
As well to walk into the sun
Rise or Set
Head high
Choices made
Last turn of the wheel
Made by one’s own hand
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Pax 2017 West
I will be at Pax in Seattle on August 31st through September 4. If anyone is interested in meeting up and being awkward together send me an email at pelgris@gmail.com
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An explanation of a poem
I dislike explaining something I’ve written. But, in this case, perhaps I should be clear.
Take a chance is about actually taking the chance, not about holding oneself apart. I’d rather take the full step is what it means. To have both fully embrace the possibility than to take some half measure or play some game. That means meeting in the first month. That means solid plans for what comes next. I’m a solid advocate for love. Just that if one falls, hopefully the fall is mutual and complete.
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Take a chance
Rather have the burning wreckage of what was
and failed than the hopeful possible
of what may be
Than the dream of you
Than to hold you in my arms
In sleep, in distance, and know the answer is never
Better to hold my heart inviolate
Than to fall forever
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What is most important in this world
Love is
Love is motivation and brightness and light
It is the moon in dark skys
It is the soft enveloping night
To love is to support, to lift up, to create, to desire, to burn. Love is the creation of dreams. It is the constant core. It is the relationship that renews and recreates itself. Respect and joy twine in the heart of love. Compassion and communication, commitment to the goal of each other and the path of acceptance. Flexibility in the face of change.
Love is the core of the world.
Power and lust. Greed and Anger. Lies and fear. These build nothing that last. Nothing that is worth the price of living.
Love is the storm in winter. It is the song that wakes you up. The dream that you hold in your arms. It is everything.
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Twirl slow turn
To want for wanting
A simple kiss burned through with needing
Desires unrealized for the dreaming
For who would kiss the flame
It seeks to devour
To transform self and else
But needs a fuel for burning
Having lost all truth itself
Comfort and steady
Steals the hope from our hearts
Holds just enough
Just barely
To keep one foot in front of the other
Forward is the only way to go
Complacent whispers a story of good enough
That in the night rings solemn
A mournful bell slow to wake
False ring and disappointed half smiles
Never quite forgiven
Unable to forget
Just kiss and wake me up
Slow acceptance of a beaten
Beating
Heart
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It’s time…maybe
Fine lines trace patterns across skin
Slight depressions marking path of pains gone by
Never quite forgiven
A river burst its banks
Traverse well worn paths
Forgotten in the swallowing dark
Pelgris 