There are times, weeks, when I forget what I am. Torn between the working persona and the family persona. Between the good guy, good date persona and who I really am. When I’m alone in the world for awhile, those masks fall away. They disappear like the temporary illusions they are and all that is left is me. I move with purpose, seeing it all, moving as I will, free from all constraint. Social moores float to the background and the only rules are thin and self imposed. The world dances and I dance with it. Not in counterpoint but as I will it. Every step, every second a brilliant diamond of clarity. Then the power ebbs, flowing away as all power must. And I come crashing down into this mortal meat body. You want to know what it feels like? It is indescribable, what I’ve written here is the description of quantum physics to a chimpanzee. Unless you wield it, become it. How could you ever know.
2 days ago
My phone rang in the quiet hour before dawn. A voice, solemn and deep, describes a place in the desert. Then it’s gone. Some messenger spirits positively delight in technology, even if they don’t quite grasp that it needs to be turned on to work. I get dressed in cool clothes, the suns up soon and I’d rather not melt. 112 today, a nice normal July day. Looking through the dresser full of odds and ends I find and clip my knife to my pocket. Out my front door and into the cool predawn. I drive an old Chevy truck. What can I say, it was cheap. It’s not like this gig pays much.
I drive east to the Bee line Highway until I’m right near the casino, right on the edge of the place of power, either built there on purpose or someone was lucky or stupid. All that hope and excitement. All that desperation and grinding down of the human spirit. Normally these places seethe with little spirits feeding on the bits and pieces of hope and misery. But this place just tips it all over into the wellspring a couple of miles north. The magical equivalent of dumping chemical runoff into a lake.
Past the casino I turn down a rock strewn road. It twists and turns back beyond the point where civilization mars the landscape. Down into a dry riverbed. Deep gravel lines the sides, you can almost feel the weight of years and water pressing down. In the middle is a cleared out area, a firepit strewn with cheap beer bottles and bodies. Something bad happened here, happened last night. I’d like to say I felt it coming but the truth is, so much bad shit is happening at any one time, it all just melts together. I can see the outline of a failed ritual circle. Failed because if it had done its job these kids would still be alive. This was a holy place once. A place where sky meets earth, where earth meets water. Where the scent of dry timbers burning lingers on the air. But thanks to the casino, darker things lurk near the surface. Still they should have been safe. Just a bunch of college kids who read the wrong sociology book. A little drunk and alot stupid.
Usually they just chant some words they have half translated, scream their frustrations, then fuck in the water shaped gravel. That would have been bad enough, the gods can be a puerile bunch. Maybe the kids would have had a run of good luck, if their performance was pleasing. But some asshole thought that they should sacrifice a animal too.
That bloodletting… I could feel the lurch as something tore itself through the spirit world into ours. What we in the business call a 3rd aetheric to first aetheric transfer, but only among the stuffed shirt set.
This is bad. Something has ripped it’s way through and it is hungry.