Deuce and Seven off suit, all in at the river

I hate this person I am right now
This open wound
Seething pain
Raw and stretched thin
Reacting to any touch with Claws and fangs

I hate tears coming unbidden
Out of control and over the top
Like threads pulled free from stiches
Spilling out every hurt

I hate this semblance of ok
This cold regard that slips in
This quavering uncertain voice
Sobbing and breaking
Caught between strength and weakness
With no hope

Not even a sliver of future
Turn of the dice
Roll of the wheel
Spin of the cards
The Tower
The Tower
The Tower
Unheeded

Once forgotten
The old wounds
Knife sharp

Treading over familiar ground
Roads carved in blood

Resonant on the frequency of attenuation

Listening to the background hum
Silence an impenetrable barrier
Hear the rush of blood
Muted cotton closing in
Numb
One too many traumas
Like shock but with less bemusement
Everything normal saying it’s anything but
Something shattered can be mended
Something broken can be healed
Gilt gold edges fixing cracks
But missing,
Or dust and shadows
Complicated makes one long for false rainbows of simpler times
False memories easier than this sound
Of nothing

Wind bends the branch, leaf dances

Curve of smile
Dancing in eyes
Mouth forbidden and taunting
Touch of skin
Scant moments away
Like waking from a dream of without
Running away or to
So scared that who I am will be the end
Staying true but flexible to winds fate
Hating the necessity of not walking arm in arm
Listening to your headphones
Wondering what makes you dance
Take a few steps with me in joy
Want to shout my heart to the wolves
Baying hello across desert
Give in to the passionate frenzy
A heart broken and blooming
Dripping petals onto tongue
Taste the beat of my heart

The all too familiar chill of silence

This grey world
of maybes and waiting
Torn apart
silences and half said hesitation
Stretched out fingers
Fighting inclination
The touch of you
wakes the need
for more of you
Sound of your drawl
igniting long quiet desires

The quiet seeps in
Settling in between bones
In the interstices
Pockets of too heavy air
Robbing voice with grief

Hold you close
make heart known
See you in all the hidden places
Know and accept
I want you still
I want you always
I love the all of you