It was simpler then

I called this clarity
I called it sanity
It’s a barren empty
A field of endless days

Longing for more
Am I longing to feel
….
Anything

Is this my addiction
To pain
To joy
Or is this what I felt

Without the hope
Of a tomorrow
And now I’m self aware enough
To realize it

Some days other people are an agony
Fidget to get free
But even that’s better than sitting alone
There’s no freedom

My choices have led me here
To this barren earth
This windswept empty
Bereft of everything
Even fear

What’s left when even fear is gone

Joy is a thing of blood and bone
My heart is full of dust and memories
What fool would want a piece of pain
Drink my tears and end with sand

On this shattered plain
Beneath this bowl of sky

Losing value

Pull forth stones
Presented in facet
Bloody
Covered in bile and muck
Not all are rubies or jade
Just diamond
Just common brilliance
Made precious by forced scarcity

Simple
Transparent
Valueless
Made wonderful by lies
By marketing campaigns

Fire pressed
Jade and jasper
Forged by seconds ticking away in a roar
Until we can’t hear ourselves think
Until this is it

And a shaped piece of steel and nitre

Grief never fades

Splay me open
Crack my chest
There’s little enough left
A heart in tatters
Each new day cut slivers
Stuck in throat
Flowed out with tears come unbidden
Weaving a false tale of hopes realization
Fantasy without root
Just another sliver
An ache that never ends
Take what blood remains
Chest hollowed out
Filled with burnt ash
An endless well

Athame

shallow origination mists
beckon twilight
beyond the slip of moonlight
drinking sublimated shadow
in cerulean twist
listing as sea overtakes this engine of edifice
sacrificed altars where sorrow and rust
war in measure to oblivions cursed dream
simple turnabout
the wheel drift
made present in pale limb
shudder forth
in the breaking light of dawn
empty vessel of night
spilled lifeblood
to let you
wake

Softly dying

In the complications of morning
The heat of the coming day
My heart has started trembling
Begging you to stay

Life, it runs in circles
And I am lost within
Just stay with me awhile
I’ve lost the will to win

I’m right back at beginning
Stay in the dying light
The softest breathe of mourning
I long to make it right

But stay with me, my lover
And drink my blood like wine
I am lost, forsaken
I fear, it may be time