I’ve recently been told that I don’t come off as a Top or Master. Which I find interesting, since I am one. Perhaps because I am gentle or emotional. I’m not really certain why. Perhaps it’s in my method. Outside of an active scene, I want my submissive to feel fully comfortable. To know that I care for them and that I would never harm them beyond their desire or capacity. I don’t take by force what could be had with gentleness. And even in play I prefer a slow escalation at the beginning of the relationship. Take it slow, get to know their capacities, their desires, what they want to explore, what is absolutely off the table. Bringing out the cat o’ nine on first meeting is a recipe for disaster even if the sub is up for it. If there is something I cannot abide it is a top that makes a submissive feel like they are not loved. A submissive is a treasure, outside of scene they should feel like they are. A top is responsible for not just the sexual/sensual well being of their submissive but their emotional needs as well. A top that misrepresents or mistreats a sub pisses me off. So I come off gentle, because I care. A real top is controlled, conscious of their actions, can appear cruel but is focused on the goal. Their pleasure is a piece of it, but they are responsible for their submissive’s pleasure as well. Being a brutal and selfish lover does not make you a top or master, it makes you an asshole.

I know there is a bunch of controversy surrounding this word.  Let me explain my definition.

Friendzoning is about someone deliberately stringing people along with the full knowledge that they have no intention of pursuing a romantic relationship while playing at the possibility that there might be one.
It is not about desiring sex and being denied it because the relationship between them is friendship.
If an individual cannot maintain the emotional distance required by friendship Eg not letting it spill over into desire, then it behooves the person to be honest and tell the one who wants friendship only that they desire a romantic relationship and would persue friendship only if it leads to such.
Some people are destined to only be friends.  But others you may feel romantically inclined to.  If you cannot shift the romantic interest into agapic entanglement then you owe it to yourself and the person to be honest about your intentions.  If you are and they don’t feel the same way then walk away.  Staying can only be damaging. Maybe some distance will change your mind.
Back to my main point, friendzone.
To me friendzoning is a deliberate manipulation, it means that the Desired is stringing along the desiree with the possibility of a romantic relationship in order to fulfill their own emotional or material needs without consideration of the emotional wellbeing of the desiree.  This is not actual friendship.  This is borderline sociopathic behavior.