The worst feeling in the world is not knowing, it is unfortunately also the best. When we don’t know we can choose to believe that everything is OK, that the reason we don’t know is something funny or slightly disappointing like their phone is dead or some other small thing.

But there is the flip side, that we don’t know because someone, most grievously, the person we are waiting to hear from has chosen to not tell us. But, it could be worse. Perhaps they are restrained from telling or perhaps they are dead.

Not knowing, due to my nature, is always balanced on the razors edge. The edge where both the worst and best are possible. That until we check the box, we can’t know the state of the cat.

Worse in this case because not knowing where, I cannot even begin to find out. Its like finding a specific needle in a drawer full of needles.

Uncertain fragility

The soft skitter of wind kissed across skin
Inexplicably cold dropped deep into coma
Slipping down from heights
Settling into well worn grooves
Fever blossom flushed
Sensitive to touch
Shudder at the core
Boxes closed, open of their own accord
Anxiety and depression waking from their slumber

Slow passage of time

Pain blooms in nerve endings
in joints
pressure and sensation
unfolding out
dance slow cheek to cheek
ephemeral sensation birthing fires that bring heat to flesh
lips press in
half parted
first taste hinting strawberry
memories wander
notes bursting out of skin
breaking free to sing
pulse quickens
arms encircle
hold as in in mind

wanting some feedback

Wax and wane

There are days where I do not write of sensuality. Days where nary a tit or skin or lips are mentioned. It is on those days that I am so consumed by the thought of you that I cannot form coherent sentences. Instead, I dream of touching and being touched. Of spanking and tying you to our bed. Of tasting and licking until you writhe and beg me to cum. It is not that on days I write, I want you any less. Merely that on those days I am more in control.

My advice

My advice for those looking for certainty where love is concerned. To those that say it’s better to be silent and pine for the possible than to speak and know the truth.

If no one speaks up, you have people never knowing that the feeling is there; they can’t know if you don’t say something. If everyone sits around mute, hoping for some sign that will never come then love no matter how passionately felt comes to nothing and love coming to nothing is a tragedy. There is always the possibility of a negative outcome. And if it turns out that way then learn from it, pick up your heart and move up, move on. There is no “the one”. This person you love now is “the one”. Because “the one” is like finding that thing you lost in the last place you looked. Of course it was in the last place, you didn’t need to keep looking. Don’t allow fear of the fallout to drive you to silence.

Goddess of my Heart, you were in the last place I looked. No need to look further.  I’ve found you.