I find myself happy
Though no delirious thing
No cracked grin
Manic and fading
No simple contentment
Though perhaps contentment has been so far away that I wouldn’t recognize it
I find joy in the simpleness of being
The hush of night
The sounds of the heater
The far to silent room
Because the truth is that my happy has a hole in it
And it’s only that space of lack
Which informs the rest
One should never wait for love.
It seems stupid to even say but we wait to say it. We wait for some sure sign that we feel it. We wait to see if they feel it too.
We wait. And we push it away because outside things say that its not the right time.
If it’s inside things. If you are working on yourself. To get yourself well; then fair enough.
But external things?
Don’t wait. Love is as much an act of faith as it is a feeling. Tell them how you feel without expectation.
You’re feelings are yours. Not a burden for them to carry. But, true freedom is honest. And being honest even when you are scared is better than the alternative.
And it’s better to know. If they run or the relationship ends, then at least you know. And maybe the person you love next will be in the same place as you.
But you can’t know unless you say something.
Love is the truest thing we have.
Don’t run from it.
We exist on the shores of love
Waiting to drink deeply
Sometimes wandering away
Lost and without purpose
Lonely in the way that only those who have truly known love can be lonely
Lost without hope
Having first known its touch
We build homes
Drinking slight or deep
Always knowing that someday
Whatever we do
However we try
Love will leave
We will be alone
That silence which weighs so heavy
Sometimes it’s too much
And we pass
Sometimes we heal from its lack
But always on the shore
Looking past the cold horizon
Footsteps that bring you home
Soft petals turned razor sharp
Soft sadness at wounds too small to ever heal
Scarred by healing
Marks littering my body
Closed and hiding in daylight
A thing of thorns and pain
I grow full by starlight
Cloaked in the night
Scars hidden and covered
By the frozen expanse
Blooms shiver in the this never-ending
While I awake anew
We share a world but we’re not in the same one
Mine has dangers sharp as blades
Lies as comfortable as clouds
Truths as broken as glass
Plant yourself close
I will grow
And protect you shelter you
the broken rose of the winter night
A field of unknown stars
An ocean of pain and beauty
Beneath a frozen moon
The delineation between loving someone versus being in love with someone is bullshit.
What you actually mean is that you don’t hold romantic and/or sexual feelings for a person.
And pretending that “in love” is some kind of permanent state is a harmful practice. It negates most relationships. Causes grief and pain and destroys families.
“In love” should be used to mean that not only are you romantically linked, but also that you will do the real work of maintaining and building your relationship(s) so that the state of “in love” can be achieved.
This desperate seeking for a “spark” is ridiculous. Sparks are fleeting and while they can kindle a flame, it is but one way in which a fire is created.
People are all looking for a thunderbolt but a fire built from steady constant work will burn just as hot and instead of that instant destruction, can build.
And some of us are nuclear fires born of stars, we need other stars to be happy. But really, any person who hasn’t hardened their heart, can become a star.
To build and build lasting and out lasting a mortal span.
I suppose I’m just tired of the limits people place on their hearts. I understand caution. Hells, I understand a sharp blade at the right time. But still, we could be less foolish with our phrasing. Words build us. Give us a framework to assault reality.
And yes, if someone advances on you unwanted, well then remember that sharp knife I mentioned?
Drop sand distant to a tune made melody
Pounding counterpoint to soft gasps
Quiet bitten lip moans
Being quiet for too thin walls
Open to the endeavors of pain
Break wave and skin taught
Beads of sweat
Cold in the rooms still air
Even in passions throws
Small towel and soft cover
Cutting out cold
Taking fierce care while being taken
Into ear the growl of
And thus I’m lost again
No trick of the light
To have a heart full of stars
Grown in reflection to your love
Leave the taste of you on waking
Tongue ache in remembrance
Hands pressed to lips
Savoring a memory of yet to be
Waking in I love you
Mind flying the miles
A promise to keep you
Safe within my arms
As safe as you desire
Love is layered
Built day by day
Until the inevitable bloom of forever
Love is layered
Hurts day by day
Until the inevitable decay of forever
Love is choice
Made with care and deliberation
What we feel may be immutable
But feelings are not love
They are but a single layer
It is in the accumulation
In the choice
Where truth lives
And I write of love because we are so distant now
Steeped in love
But so far away
It’s a pain that grows
Briefly assuaged by words on the screen
And the need which gnaws at the