This calm frission
Edging out to storm wracked sky’s
Give way to dappled rain
Life flows from a single kiss
The echo of a love found
In the quiet places
Of a heart forced still
A soft note
A note carried in the heart
Raised in voice
A song heard
Eyes turn again
And back to you again
And swirl into arms
Though pain paints its own picture
Choices back to her again
Eyes possess her all
Across the vast distance of the possible
Of the future
Waiting for the pressure wave
Until, of a sudden, it is upon us
We run and decry
How could we have seen this coming?
Is it folly to love deeply?
To break bread with heartache in the slim hope of a tomorrow not promised?
To drink from the cup of dreams
Our love burns now
A fire unquenched
A conflagration which itself ignites and births forth a sun
And still I fear
For life has taught me that I fail
No matter how deep
And too often quenched before mine own
Or maybe not this time
Maybe in each other we are found
I am a fool of hope
Painting pictures in my blood
And soon joined
“How will I ever let you go?”
Whispers the dark liar
“She won’t want you”
I don’t need assurance
I’m no fading flower waiting to be perked up
I need her by my side
My champion, my conqueror,
Time slipping by
Crashing into a future
Destination and journey unfurl
All that was becomes prelude
To an is
That is us
A few steps more
Times passage marked by love
And all will be changed
I have looked into empty rooms searching for you
I wake up feeling you there
Just out of reach
My hand questing out
I have searched in other people’s bodies
In their lips, in their hearts
Looking for someone I hadn’t yet met
Wrapped and drowning in grief for a past that I could not let go
Always knowing that with love a heart expands to encompass all
And each small light
Never quite right
Some almost but never realizing
Heart broken and mending
Into the void of was
Poured secrets and hopes
No small flame fed on flash paper
Magma and storm
Heightening each other
This body paint is something else. I could not believe that was me in the mirror and yet it felt like I was seeing myself as the truest me I’ve ever been. Being a fox makes sense to me. Like all the world has been slightly out of sync until I saw the truest expression of my self in the mirror and now the last tumbler has clicked into place and all I need do is walk through the now unlocked door.
I exit my room and notice Pel is doing that oh so attentive unattentive nonchalance thing he does when he is self-satisfied with some ploy of his. My eyes flick over to Sara. Her look says it all. If eyes could light fires, I’m sure Pel’s tux would be in flames.
I follow my last instructions and present myself to Pel. I know he loves me but I always feel the slightest moment of fear before he speaks. I can’t seem to find a way to get the thought that he’ll harm me out of my head. It’s not even some fear that the other shoe will drop. It’s just that the look of possession and lust and ownership in his eyes look just like Mark’s eyes. He’d be hurt if I told him that. It’s not how he sees himself. Not as a predator but as a protector, but those eyes are the same. Until he kisses my forehead and whispers in my ear, “How’s my sweet fox girl doing?”
I don’t know how he does it. Maybe the tone of voice? But just a whispered question and I’m blushing and my skins normally so pale that I blush all over. But he’s waiting for me to say something, and with a little hiccup, I say, “I’m a very happy fox, today.”
He takes my hand and turns us towards Sara.
With a smile, Pel says, “Well, my dears, ready to take some pictures.”
I struck silent. Sara’s eyes hold the same predatory gleam that Pel’s has. The same desire and possessive need pours from her.
I startle when Pel leans over to me and whispers, “You know, foxes are predators too.”
What attention could I pay
Which would be welcome
Which would be kind
A strong drink
Perhaps that will be our path
Am too impatient
And quaff too deeply
Eyes going dark
And inner shouts say
It’s just a matter of time
Not this time
Not any time
Makes the only difference
If only I could see
One touch is never enough
Whether of the mind or flesh
You’ll dwell in me forever
And forever I’ll crave in quiet moments
In solace and solitude
For your sighs and taste and screams
sweet memories of gentle caress
Transform into deep desire and unsated float
Mark with teeth
But I know
It’s not true
And instead I write
With unquenchable need
You kindled a spark in heart and mind
Now desire burns in bonfire blaze
Slow eyes and wicked smile
Say yes, that we may begin
At first the dream was like playing a video game. Like a really immersive rpg. I was rolling through completing objectives when I came to a fire level and I cast a ultra powerful blizzard spell which froze the entire world. This was all taken from bits and pieces of my last couple of days. For instance, the blizzard was something I saw on a TV show.
This is where it takes a turn, but still(I’m reading a detective story) consistent. I’m now a sheriff in a small town in the middle of a blizzard but I can still cast spells.
I think all of this is just framework until she steps into frame. I can’t describe her because she’s always been there, if that makes sense. We are working on a case and at some point we begin joking and we are forced to go on the run. But before that I mention burial rituals of South American indigenous people having similarities to what we were doing (burying her uncle so that he mummified, I don’t know…dreams) and she looks at me, like really looks and I see her and only her and I exist. We walk off the dig site and it is several months later and we are in a mall or gallery? There are kiosks but also it’s a college campus? Anyway, she pulls me into a kiss then asks who this woman down the way is who is looking at us in horror and tears.
I turn around and it’s an ex of mine. Actually someone I had almost married. (all of which knowledge seems to burst into my mind, having not known it before the moment I needed to)
I say that’s my ex, and I’m kinda pissed because the way she’s acting it’s like I betrayed her when she’s the one who left me. I say, She dumped me pretty quickly when she found out that I don’t want kids.
And I looks at this woman I’m now dating and I see the disappointment in her eyes. Then there is shooting and we are running again and I’m explaining while we run my reasons and she says, can we just put that discussion on pause until the crisis is over? We will figure it out together.
All the while I’m babbling that I might change my mind but I’ve never heard an argument which would counter my own beliefs and she looks at me with a wicked smile and says no worries, I already have kids and I was just worried you would reject me because of that, and I’m baffled because, the answer is of course that doesn’t bother me.
And it just clicked, like duh, this is what is needed. Someone willing to fight for us, who wants to explore and learn and change. Not someone who leaves at the first sign of trouble. Someone willing and wanting to have these discussions even though we are both vulnerable and maybe going to be hurt.
Then we hop in a gunship and flying out of there while under fire and I send someone whose been with us for awhile but in the background to man the .50 cal.
Then I wake up