Thoughts on vitriolic speech

When we succumb to vitriolic language, we lose credibility in the marketplace of ideas. When one group espouses that all members of another group are inherently of no value, they set up a scenario of escalation by the people who most embody their statement and alienation from those who do not. That alienation has the opposite effect of the intended statement. Statements such as this are intended to highlight a problem and start a discussion but they have the opposite effect. Statements such as this polarize the accused group, causing not disintegration or fracturing but instead causes the majority of that group to, at least initially defend the group or try to differentiate themselves from that grouping.

This then leads to the people saying nay to the hyperbole, which then leads to a demonizing of those that say nay, then leads to anyone who might want to participate in a discussion about it to go silent. Because when all members of a group who have no choice in being that are vilified, outside of people who like to argue, they will see that discussion led to even worse things. And so, silence.

If no one is talking except to shout slogans and hashtags at each other then nothing can be accomplished. No discussion. No sharing of ideas can occur if you force the individual members of the group to acknowledge that you are right before you will speak semirationally with them.

Both sides shouting, no one talking, no progress is made. People want it all fixed, right now. Societies don’t work like that. The idea has to permeate the culture first. And do we want to have a hateful idea permeate a culture. It’s simple to tell if an idea is hateful. Just turn it around. Apply it to yourself and your group. Do you feel affronted? Angry? If someone said that about you would it make you feel good? If not, then you are spreading hate.

Hate is easy and it causes human emotions to flash hot. But it is destruction. Maybe you think to burn it down to rebuild it. But hate breeds more hate until there is no one left to rebuild. Or if there is, it will likely be people who rebel against your hateful ideas. Either way, you don’t accomplish your goal.

It is easy to say no compromises. But that is not how advanced societies function. Dictatorships do. But they don’t last and neither do their policies. One or two human lifetimes is the most you accomplish.
Real forward progress is accomplished by understanding and the slow process of new ideas embedding into youth and age giving way to the youth as policy makers. It’s slow. But it is effective and lasting change.

If you feel the need to fight, fight for someone’s rights. For someone’s life. For each other. Giving into hate creates a situation where things can’t change.

Master is a dirty word.

I have never been a master of anything. And even of the people who have called me master, I was not a master. To be a master is to say that I am at the pinnacle of my abilities.  There is no higher that I can go that is not simply a reimagining of the thing in which you claim mastership of. And it’s total bullshit. Because the reality is that you are not the best at what you do. Not only is there someone better than you, there is also someone better than them. 

Think about that. Not only are you not the best, you’re not even second best. You are at best, third best. And that’s good. Really. It is. Because as third best you know that there is a place to go. You can’t sit on your ass content in the knowledge that you can learn nothing more, strive for nothing more. Instead you have more to learn. More to grow. And that is the greatest gift you can give.

Because as long as you can grow, you can change. And as long as you can change, you can overcome that seemingly insurmountable goal. Because you are not the best. Because if you were the best and you couldn’t do it, well then, it simply can’t be done.

But you are not, and it can.

So how do you get past it? How do you overcome it? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not by sitting on your ass waiting for it to present itself. Waiting for it to be.

You need to work towards that goal. Because while it may be coming slowly, if you are sitting on your ass when it presents, you will be in no state neccesary to take advantage of it. And it will pass you by. And with you on your ass, it will be all you can do to waive at it, as it speeds by.

But if you had been working towards it, you would have matched speeds and climbed aboard. Because you had done the work to get there.

You have to get up every day and do something to further your goal. You have to try to be ready to jump when it comes. And you have to not lose heart. Because 3rd place is not second loser, it is the place from which winners launch.

Keep working. Not towards mastery. Not towards some impossible goal. Define a goal. Write it down and follow through. Start small but do a little more until you are screaming from how much it is. Then do that for awhile, until it becomes easy. Then do more. We are only as limited as we allow ourselves to be. More is always possible.

If you get off your ass.

Twirl slow turn

To want for wanting
A simple kiss burned through with needing
Desires unrealized for the dreaming
For who would kiss the flame

It seeks to devour
To transform self and else
But needs a fuel for burning
Having lost all truth itself

Comfort and steady
Steals the hope from our hearts
Holds just enough
Just barely
To keep one foot in front of the other

Forward is the only way to go
Complacent whispers a story of good enough
That in the night rings solemn
A mournful bell slow to wake
False ring and disappointed half smiles

Never quite forgiven
Unable to forget

Just kiss and wake me up
Slow acceptance of a beaten
Beating
Heart

Poem or rant?

Love that is comfortable is a love that is too easy
It is merely comfort
Love that is real always feels a bit uneasy
It should be growing
Changing
And growth, change are always uncomfortable
Like new skin
Without that feeling
Love sits on its laurels
It stagnates
And stagnation leads to the death of love
Let love ride uneasy
Let it be uncomfortable
Let it prompt change
Let it prompt growth
Or else
Prepare yourself for its loss

Five minutes ago

3 hours ago
You were crying
2 hours ago
I was concerned
One hour ago
We started talking
Fifty five minutes ago
I held you
Fifty minutes ago
I kissed away your tears
Fourty five minutes ago
You laughed
Fourty minutes ago
I grinned
Thirty five minutes ago
I reiterated my heart
Thirty minutes ago
You demurred
Twenty five minutes ago
I insisted
Twenty minutes ago
You accepted my words shyly, as you have before
Fifteen minutes ago
My friends smiled benevolently as I lost the thread of conversation, thinking of you
Ten minutes ago
I lifted your eyes to mine in fierce possession
Five minutes ago
I learned why you were crying
……….
……….
……….
……….
I spout neutral words
My world is blown apart like a sand castle on Omaha beach
I need to hold you, to tell you everything will be ok
I can’t bring myself to
Everything is different now
This physical and emotional distance
There is nothing I can do but support you
As you make a decision that effects every future
I’m paralyzed between hearts need to insist that you are mine and as long as that is even the tiniest bit true everything will be fine
between my minds insistence that this precarious place I occupied will be pushed aside if not out completely
between my magical selfs seeing of all the branching future’s and the truncated lines
between my empaths need to support your emotional needs
between, between, between

And if this is what I’m feeling, then what must the maelstrom of your heart and mind be
I wish it were as simple as me being your safe harbour
the insistence,
the need for nothing to change
Simple illusion as everything does
…..
…..
but I’ll hold here, I will never walk away from you
hopefully I’ll have words to say
hopefully I’ll know what to say
hopefully
Hope

Thoughts on change

Every change that truly effects who you are is a destruction. It’s like a molting, the old falls away and while the appearance may be similar the core is different. Often there is a struggle to get free of that old useless skin, to hold onto the safety of the familiar. But this safety is illusion. We prefer that things remain the same and because of this we blind ourselves to the changes in others and in ourselves. Often taking a violent revelation to allow the scales to fall away. Not that what I do, constant self examination, is any better. The consequences are different. But an acknowledgement that the only true constant is change must be made and if this is true then would it not be better to embrace that change rather than hide from it? I believe so.

Softly dying

In the complications of morning
The heat of the coming day
My heart has started trembling
Begging you to stay

Life, it runs in circles
And I am lost within
Just stay with me awhile
I’ve lost the will to win

I’m right back at beginning
Stay in the dying light
The softest breathe of mourning
I long to make it right

But stay with me, my lover
And drink my blood like wine
I am lost, forsaken
I fear, it may be time

Detente

A lifetime of words spill out
Hearts blood on the page
Desire, want, and need
Logic and emotions in sync
Ruled by nought but the moment
The moment and you
A world of spun glass and long stemmed rose whips
Screams and whimpers
Ecstasy and agony and the float
Feel my flesh, know that I am real
Ask and it will be done