Poems

Karaoke

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Spinning notes hung in vibrant
Illumination
drink the poison to be free
one last note of the symphony

denote the heart and it’s losses
pitched down into the dust
flat and empty
but rise and gain color
live a life extra ordinary
or choose to not be judged,

a voice is no place for lovers
but love gives voice and winds give solace
as the turning world bounces the hiss and pop
experience no crescendo
no tinkling rush
hurtle forward to the bridge
throwing our locks away
or
hand each other the keys

Five minutes ago

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3 hours ago
You were crying
2 hours ago
I was concerned
One hour ago
We started talking
Fifty five minutes ago
I held you
Fifty minutes ago
I kissed away your tears
Fourty five minutes ago
You laughed
Fourty minutes ago
I grinned
Thirty five minutes ago
I reiterated my heart
Thirty minutes ago
You demurred
Twenty five minutes ago
I insisted
Twenty minutes ago
You accepted my words shyly, as you have before
Fifteen minutes ago
My friends smiled benevolently as I lost the thread of conversation, thinking of you
Ten minutes ago
I lifted your eyes to mine in fierce possession
Five minutes ago
I learned why you were crying
……….
……….
……….
……….
I spout neutral words
My world is blown apart like a sand castle on Omaha beach
I need to hold you, to tell you everything will be ok
I can’t bring myself to
Everything is different now
This physical and emotional distance
There is nothing I can do but support you
As you make a decision that effects every future
I’m paralyzed between hearts need to insist that you are mine and as long as that is even the tiniest bit true everything will be fine
between my minds insistence that this precarious place I occupied will be pushed aside if not out completely
between my magical selfs seeing of all the branching future’s and the truncated lines
between my empaths need to support your emotional needs
between, between, between

And if this is what I’m feeling, then what must the maelstrom of your heart and mind be
I wish it were as simple as me being your safe harbour
the insistence,
the need for nothing to change
Simple illusion as everything does
…..
…..
but I’ll hold here, I will never walk away from you
hopefully I’ll have words to say
hopefully I’ll know what to say
hopefully
Hope

Words and choices

Pelgris2 Comments

I would say everything
But would I be believed?
I would make known all my intentions
But would they fall on deaf ears?
I would hold you forever
But would you squirm away?
I would love you until the stars burn out
But you would still be far away.

I’m scary, I say things that are forever things. Things that life has taught can be only lies. Nothing lasts forever, nothing but the fear and the loneliness. So I am not believed.

I would demonstrate my heart
Prove again and again, what is written there
Grow with you
But I’m the scary one. Saying pretty things, things your mind whispers, cannot possibly be true.

My Miss

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I would rather be near you than be far
To be inside you, exploring the world
To feel you around me, to press fingers and tongue
I need to be inside, to share as much space as possible
to feel your heat, for you to feel mine
this need, this desire, to mark you as mine
to demonstrate to the world that you are free
but
This physical expression is just that
if it is not to be
then I know my thoughts will be curled in your mind
teasing you with the possibility of this life
That there is someone who wants you in ways you can only imagine
who needs you in ways you’ve never dreamed possible
who would delight in your freedom to persue your desires
and help you reach as far as you need to.

Closets aren’t only for sexuality

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If you are in pain
If you are hurting
You have within you the ability to make a choice
To break free and stand apart
To choose those who support your dreams
Who see your desires as beautiful
It is the hardest thing in the world to choose to be open, to choose to be free
This is the choice that defines our character
There are all kinds of secrets
Of things we hide from others, from ourselves
Assess the situation and decide, for your sanity, for your happiness, for your safety
Decide to step free from social constraints
Decide to be free

Powers and principalities

Pelgris1 Comment

If I could sooth every ache
stop every tear
turn sadness to joy
show fear as hope
heal the pain of heartbreak
I would

You are the light in my world
In your cocoon of my heart
I would see you become all that you desire

Broken brain

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I’m a creature of hope masquerading as a cynic
A creature of joy masquerading as depression
With you, I am whole
With you, I am weak
Break the world with me
Dance with me
There is only the darkness and you and hope

Stripped

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Sand whips
Flays flesh
Scouring out impurities
Reducing, piece by piece
Until only the wind
And the passing of my screams
Remain

The long road- (new song)

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I’m busy falling in love
You’re busy walking away
Its this painful silence
At the end of a pain full day

I’m busy falling in love
But you’re busy walking away
My lips are the fire
But I cannot kiss you to stay

My heart is lost and rotten
And always I’m forgotten
Some days you hold me closer
And always I’m the loser

You were my four leaf clover
Thought it was my lucky day
Now we are long dead, over
And I’m always walking away
Now I always walk away
You taught me to walk away

I’m busy falling in love
You’re busy walking away
Its this painful silence
At the end of a pain full day

I’m busy falling in love
But you’re busy walking away
My lips are the fire
But I cannot kiss you to stay