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control
What is wanting in the surity of her savage kiss
Some thoughts violate pleasures
Some boil and seethe looking for fertile ground
Waiting to grow flowers which bloom blossoms heavy with blood
Dark ponders
Desire wars with decency
Losing and winning
Who can tell when the lash falls
Split grin
All the horror of imagination
Given freedom
By a Whispered
Yes
By the knowledge
Her only limit
How far I’m willing to go
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That Texan drawl
Want that slow sensual burn
To crawl inside your mind
Run my skin over your thoughts
Feel your needs and desires
Granting each in turn
Denying each at my whim
There is no rush
Not looking for the sharp pulse of orgasm
Burn me alive in the feel of your skin
Talk to me about telomeres as I taste your sweat
Quench my control and lead me into frenzy
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We wake to the pleasure of our hearts-1
There are times where I must consider myself a beast
To desire to obliterate your self to satisfy my need for your pleasure
That you desire this as well gives me pause
Because I must consider myself your champion
A dark soul, a brightly burning messenger of the night
But yours
Not as a blade because this is not your necessity
But your tormentor
Your jailer
Your lover
Your protector
I must consider the line to walk between the obliteration of the self into a object of control and service and lust
And my ability to bring you back from that brink
And whispers sweet somethings
Engage in passion behind mere pleasure
And sit reading a book aloud for storytime
You are a joy I never thought would be
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Continental drift
Wake in me this desire
A step out of bounds
A step beyond reason
Rein in
Say no
Or choose
And reel in
Either way I’ll comply
Boundaries tried and tested
It’s no small feat
To know what lines not to cross
Sometimes we never know until it’s a
Step
Too far
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Reveal yourself, so that I may
I look into your eyes, giving you my soul
I take fierce possession of your mouth with mine. Hand to the back of your neck while my other grasps your hand our fingers intertwined. I growl my desire. Every inch of my skin burns to touch yours. To revel in your pleasure, waiting for the sweet moment when you say yes. I undress you slowly. Each button, each clasp revealing more of you. I hold your eyes as I stroke and kiss every inch. I’m ready, but I go slow. I write poetry with my fingers and tongue on your skin. Tell me about your day, I need to hear you while my eyes and hand and mouth, taste and touch and drink every square centimeter of you. Of my temple. I worship. The jasmine earth of your taste, golden nectar. This and a thousand other pleasures, fills my mind.
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Five minutes ago
3 hours ago
You were crying
2 hours ago
I was concerned
One hour ago
We started talking
Fifty five minutes ago
I held you
Fifty minutes ago
I kissed away your tears
Fourty five minutes ago
You laughed
Fourty minutes ago
I grinned
Thirty five minutes ago
I reiterated my heart
Thirty minutes ago
You demurred
Twenty five minutes ago
I insisted
Twenty minutes ago
You accepted my words shyly, as you have before
Fifteen minutes ago
My friends smiled benevolently as I lost the thread of conversation, thinking of you
Ten minutes ago
I lifted your eyes to mine in fierce possession
Five minutes ago
I learned why you were crying
……….
……….
……….
……….
I spout neutral words
My world is blown apart like a sand castle on Omaha beach
I need to hold you, to tell you everything will be ok
I can’t bring myself to
Everything is different now
This physical and emotional distance
There is nothing I can do but support you
As you make a decision that effects every future
I’m paralyzed between hearts need to insist that you are mine and as long as that is even the tiniest bit true everything will be fine
between my minds insistence that this precarious place I occupied will be pushed aside if not out completely
between my magical selfs seeing of all the branching future’s and the truncated lines
between my empaths need to support your emotional needs
between, between, between
And if this is what I’m feeling, then what must the maelstrom of your heart and mind be
I wish it were as simple as me being your safe harbour
the insistence,
the need for nothing to change
Simple illusion as everything does
…..
…..
but I’ll hold here, I will never walk away from you
hopefully I’ll have words to say
hopefully I’ll know what to say
hopefully
Hope
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A learning experience
You’re looking for meaning at the end of a dick
That mummers show
That farce
The tongue would serve you better
Or naughty thoughts and words
Relax and be ready
First we explore pleasures, base and exhultant
Fingers on hand, on neck, trace lines of veins
Kiss pulse at wrist and throat
Mouth on nipple, then teeth
Hands tease and explore
My urgency is disregarded
I wait and build
Your smell, lick sweat
Relax, and moan
Your skin, your heat, your beating heart
Look eyes and feel my adoration made tangible worship at the altar of your flesh
You are more world’s than can be explored
Pull you to the brink almost to the sweet flower, languid smell and damp
This is all you get, right to the edge,
I’m afraid I need a stronger commitment than a one night stand to show you all the pleasures of a lifetime become jaded.
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Thoughts on control
Control of the self is the only true control. Control exherted on others is either force or with the tacit consent of the other.
Force takes many forms. Physical, emotional, economical. These forms of control are illusion. They only exist as long as the recipient allows it. This is not to say that breaking free from force as control is easy. Merely to say that the first step to breaking that control is to realize that you are giving them the power. As long as you remain a prisoner in the mind, freedom from force cannot be.
I know, if someone is beating you, that you feel like this is bullshit. Until your mind is free, you cannot free your body. It’s the hardest part.
You may wonder why someone who writes about BDSM, Inflicting pain and suffering would care. Someone who is into the lifestyle and if you know me personally someone who seems so cold.
The reality is, it is because I am in the life that I care. That I think about control. I don’t enjoy inflicting pain, most days anyway. I enjoy control, but only when control is given. The submissive grants control. It may seem like the Master takes it. But without consent, it is NOT Bdsm, it is abuse. Abuse is betrayal. I am a being of rules. I do not betray.
Pelgris 