Sounding like someone crazed
Who wants every inch and moment with you
Love running perpendicular to madness
Causal lines stretching back and forth
Feeling insane with need of you
Your touch and smile soothing the waking beast within
Never further from the surface
In his den
Impatiently clawing the walls
Yowling battle cries to your pains
Purring out possession
Pin you down
I won’t touch you
Won’t sit in a dark room
Hold each other
Won’t feel your head on my shoulder
Won’t feel the pounding music bleed away
Straining for your words
Fingers trace across your skin
Kisses to lips
Cradle your hand in mine
Kiss your palm
The uninhibited laugh at some phrase that buoys me up for days
Heartbeat of need
I wear it naked in my gaze
That lingers too long on the pale sweep of your neck
These morning hours wait for me
Sitting around sharpening their knives
Waiting to ambush me
To drag me out into the streets and devour me
I need a word or a touch but there’s no one
The world sleeps
and these words hunt me
I burn and burst but can’t find you
dreams elude me
I need to save you or you to save me
but I’m just a word fool
hunted by hours
waiting for the sun to say wake.
I wake up at 2 AM most nights. No matter when I go to sleep, BAM, 2AM and I’m awake. It’s not too bad, I suppose. I get time to write. But my mind isn’t drifting to writing lately.
I wake, but my still sleeping brain reaches for you. I’m convinced that not being able to touch you; not being able to bury my face in your neck and smell you. Not being able to kiss your spine and murmur, “Mine.”
Not being able to do that, because you are not here with me, wakes me fully. My mind missing you, my body straining for you.
If I’m being honest, I have this image of you waking next to me, snuggling back into me as I kiss you and we move on to less gentle pursuits as I possess your every nerve ending, until you are floating in pleasures.
Not that we would not have been with each other before sleeping but I wake up with a need for less control and more take what I want.
These are my thoughts lately. 2AM without you.
Surface from deep sleep
inflamed by my need of you
choking on my desire
clenched like a fist too tightly around a stone
a stretched string waiting for your touch
Waiting for the melody playing in my head to be given voice
but I’m alone
This pain recedes
no action is enough
without you in my arms
To set me free
I love you like a mad thing
straining at the leash
gnawing it’s own limbs to get to you
blood spattered maw from any that dare harm you.
But tongue lolling out and dancing around
happy as can be in your presence.
This physical, visceral need for you burns in my veins
I struggle against everything that keeps us apart.
Mouth open, I roar my defiance
until bled out
the last dregs of energy bleed away
and only my eyes plead
When you say, “Sir”, it sends a frission through me. It ignites me like treated wood, builds burn to bright. My possession of you leads to possibilities of public and private. A touch to remind, a choker to mind, a corset to bind, harsh hemp rope making you mine. We are everyday. We are happy. You spark and burn when shocked and bled. My beautiful girl. Mine, mine mine, growl pours from lips to teeth biting clit. My need for you, my joy for you, each touch and sentence spoken, binding us closer. Commands become the choice of happiness and we move in tandem. You to hurt me as I command. My pain is pleasure and you are never denied. Passion pours from us in simple touch, the light in our eyes making truth where others see betrayal. We are blood and hope and fit together. The only thing improper is desire left to rot. But you hop and smile and say Sir. An exploration of boundaries, of each desire taken to the bleeding edge. Our comfort in the choices of each other. Of each other.
You’re so close but I can’t touch you
So near but I can’t have you
I miss you when you aren’t here
Miss you every minute
But you’ve said you can’t
So I sit
Stuck between my need
And the choices that aren’t mine to make
I’m not sure how I do this but I’m missing you.
Somehow, I’m missing your kiss.
Missing your touch.
Missing the feel of your hand in mine.
Missing your voice and your thoughts.
Missing you, though we’ve never touched
I’m missing, yearning,
needing with a sense of longing
a sense of being homesick.
You are my home, my heart, my love