A coloring book is not connect the dots

It’s hard to think beyond the next step
The next sleep
The next day
I’ve somehow lost those moments of space
Those silent minutes which roared and shook so loudly
Only time to spare a small smile at the croak of bird
To fawn all over a cat
Or wave like a maniac to a dog in the window
All just gestures of echoed love
Reflecting back to you

Bent willow by the rushing water

Days spent in the quiet ache of waiting
Pressed lip consonants and soft wet vowels
Dull repetition needed to bring us together
The possible made real by the simple choice
Again and again
Of you

The days ticking by which promise some future yes
Lost in the drift
Of seconds ripping
On razor wings
Each moment an agonize
In which the only balm is the thought of you

Though through the haze of fogged up desire
Still
Quietly I bleed
Patters against the tile
Curling steam in a chill air

How dangerous the need
To have you by my side
I feel myself rushing to you
And wish
I could see you
Rushing to me

Last dance of the bee in the chilling autumn

Words slip out promising blood and lust
Naked lies wander into mouths
Taking residence in sleep murmured dry tongue dreams
Eyes dry heavy ponderous
Eyelids closing against bags packed for undetermined future
The only certainty is that I’ll be there to second guess each maneuver
So sure in the daylight on the road to another me
Until days wind down
One mask slips while another rises and whose to say which if any is real
Or is it only in transition where no expectation pulls that I am free to explore a self grown tired of racing from one hope to the next
Blurring time
Lost years
Reclamation tastes bitter when you find that what could be has passed by
And only what is remains

The ache of feet masks the pain of desire

Words fail and falter
When alls said and done
Silence stretches out
Unwanted attenuation
Devour more and more
Each step towards home
Narrows the possible futures
Collapsed waveform
Looking for that one more moment
One more perfection
One more leap made
From the nebulous possible
To the simple completeness
Tired mind
Sifting through
One more word
Framework for a future?

Drowning drip by drip

Dreams bring no rest
Only mysteries
Dystopian
Running in place
Lost a still yearning
Broken piece jigsaw
Death and lies until all jumbled
Breakdown
Lasts words turn to wet sand
Dribble out of mouth
Painful lost hope living
Rejected solutions
Yes’s and no’s
Plans for the future
Waiting for that rejection
That always comes
Faith broken
Steel plate fallen away
What’s a real relationship anyway

Hopping bird takes wing

Lyrics yet to be sung struggle out
Yearning to quiver and shake
Swallowing back syllables
No voice loud enough to be heard
Stifled
Fighting for breathe
Pleading eyes
Begging to be known
That distant air
Promises made
Always one more to keep
One more to make whole
Distant thunder
Storm blessed
Sky drawn
Woken anew and shift gold
Breaks broken
Arrows flown true
Time for us
One more turn on the wheel

A heart as sharp as a knife

Fear crests in the heart
New
And maybe
And failure that is unacceptable
Crescendo of the possibility
The hope that breathes reality
Unsteady from the dream
The click
Click
Click
Of dominos falling
Of standing stone portents
Of stars weeping and impacts
Shaking the world
What will be
May be
And how to handle the logistical reality
While the heart screams
YES
And runs headlong into the future
The mind plotting paths
Hoping for a few more resources
But building as fast as possible
No schism
Heart and head are goal oriented
Looking towards the long-term truth
That future where need and desire and real talk
Manifest into real arms
Real lips
Safety and shelter
In being seen
Known
And chosen

Hard to build a future on the too live sea

I can’t let go; It’s a problem
Or it’s not; I don’t know
There are those won’t ever leave
Even if we’re never together
They are mine
Even if I’m not theirs

Does that mean that I’m too tethered to the past to move forward
I don’t think so
I hope not
Even though I ache with the thought of somehow moving out beyond their ability to call me back

These aren’t beautiful words or artful phrases
Just a baring of heart and soul
It’d be simpler if I could hide behind the lilt of wordplay
I just don’t have the energy to do so

When I love, I love complete, complex
And with gleeful discovery
And when I’m without
Never without love
Without partner
I don’t know
Sometimes I become stronger and more able to take the world on
And sometimes I’m just a small boat on a infinite ocean
Seaworthy but at any given moment, taking on water

I suppose I’m just a shifting sands dancer
And lately I’ve lost the song