Only faint syllables flow silk across eardrums
Vibrating words of pleasure and pain
Tremulous touch
Uncertain
Yearning
Caress and imprint memories
Still voice raises
Speaking truths hands fear to impart
When only words can be said
They take the place of lips pressed lightly
And so are seen as inadequate
Hearing only definition and not the whisper
Of soon
You’ll have more than this
poetry
Don’t know why
I take false breathes
Each one declaring itself to be perfect
treacherous heart beats loudly
Screaming to be set free
snap lightning synapse
Flashfire to eyes
Burning until
Buried in tears
Hopes drown in a sea of tomorrow
And I
In silence
Weep
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Dogs barking, can’t sleep without umbrella
Sitting awake meaning to sleep
But I just sit here eyes closed
Thinking about tomorrow
Anticipation insomnia
Trepidation too
But mostly I can’t sleep when I have things to say
Nonsense things
Pointless things
Cute things
Sexy things
Quiet things
Music things
Just things
It all pents up
Flowing out in this nervous energy
Keeps me awake
Keeps my mind churning
Over and over
Not exactly the best trait
To sometimes feel like you’re walking on spiky rocks
Needing to talk
And all that comes out is
“hey, 😁, good morning!”
Weirdo
Goofy Sir
Serious and happy
This is what I mean when I say
“I’m too much”
Too many things
Stupid things like
“I like you.” said too much
Words bubble out of my effervescent heart
Bypassing thought
It’s no wonder nothing lasts
Who could stand up to the onslaught of my feelings
And now we reach the heart of it
Fear
An anxiety attack that builds slowly
Reading, games, TV, kitties
Anything to not think
To not word vomit my heart out
Yet
That’s all that works
Other than being held
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Small trace of fingertips on leg
I look at your picked image
And think
Don’t want to bother you
Think
I have nothing to say but
How are you today?
Think
Not today
Hard limit
Most hard limits, easy
This one’s hard
But I don’t have anything to say
Not really
Can’t get you out of my mouth
The touch of skin
Imprinting into my mind
Memories etching themselves into nerve endings
But hard limits
Gotta follow them all
So I sit and write
And like a acid flashback
I’m right back there
Uncomfortable in my seat
Thankfully going numb
Your head on my shoulder
Arm around you
Fingers Tracing desire
Idle
Without any pattern but the moment
The feel of your skin
Feeling awkward
Wanting to turn your attention away
To your lips
To get good at this when glasses get in the way
Rushing because we want that instant
Intense
Memory
Leaves me dreaming
Waking
Looking at your picked image
Wanting to say hello
But hard limits
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Dusk falls and he wakes
Slip into the past
Drill bit eyes
Flint shaped soul
Softened by blood
Made whole by a sacrifice of self
Wake clean
Only to get dirty
But this dirty makes me free
No strings
No stress
Make things better by force of will
Touch me to wake me
Memories can’t forsake me
Remember you forever
A form of immortality
Until I lack mobility
But still I spin this story of me
Hoping for an us
And maybe an extended we
But that’s me
Always reaching for the stars
When I’ve yet to leave the earth
Last trip to anxiety
Brush lips, hands held so high
You see
Hope to live up to the hype
Or higher
I hope to deliver
For these few hours
You’re mine
Be explicit
I’m a granter of desire
But bolder in verse than in person
But shake the poet loose
I’ll trace poems across skin
Don’t believe in sin
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A hearts burst of flame, dark and light at war
The hell of my heart is that even when they walk away
Even if they crush my heart and sprinkle it bloody in the thorns of rosebushes
I still love them
Would still protect them
Even if they hate me
Believing whatever is in their hearts that makes it easy to stay away
My love is my destruction
As ever it was
Down the long skein
From beginning to end
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Aimless contemplation
I keep waking up
Can’t tell if it’s the waking that’s the problem
Or the songs playing in my head
About being as in love with you as I am
Or declaiming that I’m the freak of the fall
No words for the possible
Those roads all look so promising before you walk them
No certainty
Wish I could just enjoy the journey
When I’m in it
I do
But outside
In Contemplation
I know too many endings
Like pain that echos back from the future
As if pain can cross space/time
Finding a way to me before it happens
Friend tells me I’m kind not sweet
Finally a truth I can accept
Say I’m a shameless flirt
Not out of aimless play
But my heart tries
Even when my mind can’t see
Can’t help who I am
Even when who I am keeps falling in love
And coming out the other side
Charred and broken
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Select: Shuffle
My playlist sings of loss
Pull up favorites
Spin the wheel
Shuffle
Shuffled steps
Head down
Contemplation
Musical augery
Dance in hopes dashed reverie
Shuffle foretells misery
Like it reads my heart
Empty suffused darkness
Distilled in smoke stained notes
Each record clicks in place
Bones rolled
In modern sacrifice
Mired in the present
Like a maze with no exit
Just beginnings
Middles
And blood drenched wrong turns
Dead ends decorated by bones
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White noise
This lonely
A hole inside that cannot be filled by me alone
I need other voices to speak
To be the ones I think of
To want my voice
My thoughts
My passion
I’ve tried the being alone thing
A ghost haunting my life
No rebirth
No chrysalis
Just one step after another
An endless series of days
Only through other eyes do I see
Only through others am I whole
A fatal flaw
A design element out of wack
Or just compassion run amok
It’s never as simple as we need it
And I’ve never been an easy man
Tired of these endless days
Waiting
Stepping
Forward
Away
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Immediate emotional reaction
knives rip my esophageal lining
Shredding stomach
Shredding heart
Breaking mind
Blood coughs up
Weakness steals over me
Pain so rough
I’m dying
But
Body won’t give up when my heart breaks
Nausea has me looking for a bucket
All light and kind drain
Please
Let me die
There’s nothing left
Pelgris 