The notes wash over
This collection of sounds
Becoming music
Almost by chance
Almost
This series of steps
This waiting
This finding
This being
This burning
Soft consonants and sonorous tone
Set me aflame
Choice by choice
Her and her and her
Set us free
Fly together
Sweet song
love
A blade needs a battle
I’m a prize fighter bent on destruction
Last prize in a fight I’ve been fighting my whole life
Fight for a soul to be happy
But not my own
That may be beyond my power
But this I can do
Always in your corner
Looking for your joy
Might not be with me
But it doesn’t matter
Some wars must be fought
For the ones in our hearts
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The things I know
I’ll sing you a song
Of all the future minutes and mistakes
Of triumphs and tragedy
But never will I leave you
I’ll write you a story
Of all things passion and pain
Of fantasy and fact
But never will I break you
I’ll speak you a poem
Of all words wild and simple
Of truth and despair
But never will you doubt
I would make a world
With us at the center
And rise each day
Certain of your heart
But never for granted
I’ll earn you anew
Love is not only a feeling
It is a action
A choice
And I’ve made mine
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Pilgrimage
Plans bury themselves like roots deep in my bones
Words fragment on my tongue and fingertips
Unwritten
Unsaid
Each slow turn of the wheel
Marking passage to the possible
All my hopes burn like wildfire
Unchecked in a mind enveloped in love
I wait as one who having embarked on a long journey
sees the city of his heart on the horizon
And approaches
Steady
Knowing full well
And with light heart
That arrival means the beginning
Of our journey together
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Living in the fire swamp
Too languid for hoping
Where silence and heartbeat meet
In anxious beating and eyes burning
Slow dance for dreaming
Soft kiss for wanting
All for the taking
But time presses on
Pulling and stumbling
For want of your touch
I’m drunken and slurring
Calls of oblivion
Sink
All decisions fled
In the blurring lines
Between having and missed chances
Between smiles and cut flower laughter
Between you
And I
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Amor Vincit Omnia
Love conquers all
I used to believe that
Down to my bones I believed it.
But it doesn’t.
The hand of a man now dead can rip it away.
And still I believed.
I still believed and fell again
And while we lasted for a while it ended
And I tell myself it’s because we were never that permanent love. It was just lust mixed with lonely and it wasn’t real.
And I fell again, like a meteorite crashing to earth
I fell hard
I fell fast
And though I exist in her heart
It never became
And I say that’s not loves fault, she wasn’t the right person. If the person is not ready there isn’t anything love can do.
And I still believed
And I fell again
And I thought this is it
What a great meet cute, we fell in love at the same time with each other’s minds
But the realer it seemed the more distant it got
Until finally, it was over, not once but twice
Because I’m nothing, if not gullible.
And I quieted and I healed
And I flirted but tried so hard not to fall
Until she pushed me off the ledge
But even then, it was just fantasy.
A thing of desire and maybe and what if that quickly paled as the reality of right there and so unhappy but I can’t touch you and make it better drove home the point
And then a butterfly flitted through my window
And whispered an idea, a what if that turned to honesty and honor and a love so deep I’m drowning in it
And as always, beyond reach
And the realization, that love does not conquer all.
It conquers me but now my heart is a corpse strewn field. Littered with dying hopes.
And the frightening idea, that it all might have been in vain
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Bright light spills from the space my heart used to be
Your voice is a deep pool of laughter and bright
I’d spend my days crafting words for you to speak
they create shivers down my spine
And wake desires with but a innocent turn of phrase
Life is but a series of moments strung together by your presence and the undying hope of forever
In this life or I will find you in the next
Until
At last
We belong to each other
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We see with hearts wide open-3
Surrounded by hearts in mending
Gold seams in broken veins
Pain and pleasure in the taking
But gathered her gently
Woken him fiercely
And all of us joined
In laughter, in lust, in desire
And compromise
All truths spoken and laid bare
Emotions riding the air
Love seeking and binding
A hope everlasting
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We sing to the passion of our need-2
He sits out of reach in his silence
I need his touch
Perhaps his compliance should he be willing
To make him mine
To possess him
Enslave him with desire
Taste him full and soft
To calm his fears
To sing songs and kiss
Hold hands in defiance and trust
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Muscle memory
My heart rips it’s way out of my chest
It flies away east, looking for her
It’s filled with the dark loving of her
Too heavy to make the journey
But Hope’s foolish song
Pulls it forward
I watch it wing away
Stuck rooted to the ground by the sure knowledge
That it won’t work
That there’s no ending that starts with sweeping her off her feet
But all I can do is watch
Blood patters to the thirsty earth
Chest hollow
No longer filled with even the wanting
I watch
And pray
Though I don’t pray
But hope loudly
To whatever power
Laughs it’s way through my life
I pray
That my heart will find her
And be safe
Or else
Die on the journey
Pelgris 