The night wears a heartbeat of silence

The only joys are those we seize for ourselves
Those bare moments where you describe your day to a person you love
That dream that haunts you
Of walking in a arboreal garden
And seeing your person’s face light up with your
A minute for yourself
Alone in the ache of love
And distance
The first perfect bite which explodes so flavorful and tempting
The words unspoken
The ones that pierce
A desperate frissioned ragged edge
Tears unshed
And a song that makes you dance
Life spinning and time fleeing
Too many obligations
Not enough you

Muscle memory

My heart rips it’s way out of my chest
It flies away east, looking for her

It’s filled with the dark loving of her
Too heavy to make the journey
But Hope’s foolish song
Pulls it forward

I watch it wing away
Stuck rooted to the ground by the sure knowledge
That it won’t work
That there’s no ending that starts with sweeping her off her feet

But all I can do is watch
Blood patters to the thirsty earth
Chest hollow
No longer filled with even the wanting

I watch
And pray
Though I don’t pray
But hope loudly
To whatever power
Laughs it’s way through my life

I pray
That my heart will find her
And be safe

Or else
Die on the journey

Flying into the storm

The sun sets but day only reluctantly gives ground 

Those I need are embraced by darkness before I am

So I hold to this light 

Because I know it touched them as I am unable 

But, do they read this, know that my desire seen is but the smoldering ash cone of a volcano hidden beneath the waves. 

Summer Rain

Raindrops like imperfections in glass
Looking out to faded grey sky
Light and patches drifting
She sits in the car next to me
Relaxed and leaning back
This woman I never talk to
Sharing this time
Always apart
Lacking even the courage to say hello
Or burst this fantasy that she shares this roof because looking at the sky is worth It
Worth the heat and the distance
She’ll exit her car, I’ll watch her walk away
Listening to summer rain.

A year is long enough for perspective

You said you were fighting not to love me, as if this were some kind of compliment. How was I to feel when told that given the choice to fall and trust that I would catch you, keep you safe, you chose to stay on the ledge as I hurtled by? How was I to feel when told you did not trust me enough to allow yourself the chance to fall in love with me?

And here I am left in the desolation, just one more fool who fell in love, one more fool who having fell will remember you forever.

One more image, one more weight that will never leave my shoulders, one more cut branch on a ever-branching future, one more scar upon my heart.

Spooky action

Strange light
Strikes, filters
Particle by particle
Imparting spin

Above, below
Skin forms over bone
Differentiates into liver, heart
Contained ecstatic explosion

Base pairs meet
Struck, mutate

Warmth to cold
Calcium creaking, screaming

Words, other
Dance, lips
Lies, pain
Dripping by

Other, spin slows
Quantum entanglement
Destroyed, created, conserved

Vessel tears
Wind whistles impact

Strange light
Imparting spin

Welcome back

This island
Surrounded by crashing waves
The tide goes out
The island swells
Its borders expand
Settles in to this new normal
Becomes more stable
More lucid
Then waves come crashing back
Devouring stability
The island shifts in ecstatic ecstasy
Welcoming the maelstrom
All distance fled
Cavorting in the froth of the sea