Uncertain steps, face upraised to a storm swollen sky

There is a dance that rages through my bloodstream
Demanding steps be taken
Demanding music and light
Demanding quiet whispers and moans

It filters through my skin
Permeates every cell
Binding closer and close

Passion reminding us to live
To risk all
For each turn of the wheel
Each shift of night into day
Leaves behind bones stripped bare
All meaning carried along in pockets grown swollen

And still
Buried in the choices we’ve stuffed ourselves full on
Crappy breadsticks before the meal
The song calls

Discard the knives buried in flesh
The Flashfire and freeze
Remember but be light
Remember
And still brave the waters

And dance
Whole and broken
Joyous and bleakly
Dance
In grace and stumbles
But always
Always
In my embrace

Caramel to the tongue still hinting of spice

No bold blue yields its colors to the snap and wave of soft hands
Lost where softness breaks harsh words
Structures flake away yielding bare steel
Heat bending light to sinister purpose

Noises hinting distance
Wistful with haunted lungs
Wanted by the tracery
Feel blood course through capillary shunt
Sweet songs sung to unfinished completion

And I
And you
And choosing

The silence stretches, speaking your name

She as water
Flows through my mind
Graceful and brash
Pulling joy
As if a magician producing scarves
Voice full of temptation
Of willful willingness to be taken in hand
She the torrent
Awakes cells long dormant
Alive for the chance of her
Too public to sweep her into arms
To hold her close and make clear my affection
Settling for
veiled words
Knowing looks
Skin taught in the yearning
A promise of tomorrows

Coiled serpent, dance the leash

fingers caress my lips in remembrance
Smooth glide
Cool and warmth
Pressure pushing me to the memory
Night blossoms around
Tongue tingles with the taste of her
Arms remember the curve of back
The boop of nose
Swirl against arms
Lightning storm cascades
Sparking fire
Spine ripples
Shaking
Yearning for the taste of her
Her eyes alight with stars

Waking from a dream in hopes of finding reality

The buzzing empty of a too full cup
No room for words spilled out in lemon frosted sweet nor deep bitter coffee
Diaphanous ponder lips kissed through with the shattered dream of a storm looking for a friend
Deep sadness pulls deeper into a heart bottomed out
Her head on my shoulder
A memory pulling upward against the weight of the spin
mine in a way that makes surface tension hold all together
Quiver and waiting to burst
Hard to know what words to say
When I’d say them all
Starburst bright
Liminal state of a collapsing star
Hand clasped in mine
And lips pressed softly to palm

Cross bent lovers

Love is not a thing I know how to make
It flows from me, encases like a cocoon
Hardened shell waiting for going slow
To become now
Until burst forth as chrysalis shatters
Though, truth be told, not much visible change had occurred
Rather rewrite the inside of my brain
No longer drowning in depression
Brain still sad
Eyes still crying at times
But not looking for a way out in the explosion of brain and teeth
Not looking to jump into the sharks mouth for one last thrill before the bite
Reworked change but of the heart and mind

And what may seem at odds
every body responds to different triggers
It’s easy to wallow in the flowers of touch bloomed ecstasy
But more, to discover each nerve, each pressure
To make of us a discovery
Revealing beauty
Exposing us bare

Rhapsody in minor

One note rings out crystal and clear
Whole histories and promises in it
Tumult and peace
Beauty and destructive renewal

All shattered by a rush to explain
What was said and what was meant
Attempts to see clear
Self deprecations
Attempting to make light of heavy feelings
Saying like when love is meant
But people don’t know what love is but they know they like the taste
Easier to compare to like and hold out heart for love
And this rush of explanations and words, words, words
Crash
avalanche
Stop

And the note
Fading in the still dawn air
Sings it’s melancholy

A Sir desires

The touch of your skin is a translation of affection expressed through the medium of nerve endings
Endeavoring to awaken in you a fire which cannot be quenched
To know with a glance
Sure hands over soft skin
Eager lips made slow
Pressing lips like vise over artery
Tasting jumping pulse
Struggling to gasp breathe to synapse
Breathe deeply in ragged flame
Gifts given
Ignite fires
Kindled deep in bones
Leather and pulse pain
Bruises marking mine
Say ready
Say more
Say yes
I would have you in all the ways of imagining
Of experience and of desire
Not once, not twice
Until yield and sleep
But waking
Join in grip of heart
Allow me to wake your fire
Consume me as I consume you
Taking nothing for granted
Allow passion to rewrite your stars

Tapped out juggernaut

wish I could turn off my brain
turn it off and just be happy
turn it off and just remember
turn it off and just be

instead I dull it
break it
sleep away my time
passing away
as if time wasn’t all that I owned
and these thoughts that just won’t shut off

wish I didn’t read a thousand interpretations in a silence
in a smile
in a phrase

learned paranoia becomes just paranoid
taught myself to see all the angles
now I see right angles in circles
and I just want it to stop

and when I’m better
and when your there
I feel like I’m normal
like I got it mostly handled
and who are those people who feel like this
every day

who don’t see a cliff and for just a quarter of a second think about jumping
who don’t lose relationships because they second guess themselves until their person wonders why they aren’t second guessing too
who don’t work themselves into such stress that they lose sleep

who don’t find themselves awake at four am, yearning

But that’s not gonna be me
I’m the broken brain and broken heart
But not about you
just some weeks are harder than others
and I don’t know how to say it’ll be ok while I’m being not ok and just want to be held
but that can’t happen cause I’m supposed to be the strong one
the dominant
can’t show weakness though I’m riddled with holes
holes papered over but still bleeding
Never fully healed
but sometimes fully functioning

hard to know when to start talking
and never have I known when to stop

Wakes the beast

Sounding like someone crazed
Who wants every inch and moment with you
Love running perpendicular to madness
Causal lines stretching back and forth
Feeling insane with need of you
Your touch and smile soothing the waking beast within
Never further from the surface
In his den
He waits
Impatiently clawing the walls
Yowling battle cries to your pains
Purring out possession
Pin you down
Harsh growl
“Mine”