When is a decision not and instead a cell, open door afraid to walk through

Mind tendrils reaching out
Never quite touching the ones I’ve loved
Words caught in throat
Thinking not to impose
Not to make known
Thoughts always seeking
Touching
Seeing
Still there?
Still living
Never cared for the holidays
Feeling hypocritical asking how you spent it
As if those minutes of minutia excuse the month or more of silence
Time stretches
Stories left untold
Wishing even the scritch of the pen would come
When sound catches throat
But even there
The hesitation grows

Wanting to say
I love you
Not that it matters
Stretching out just to say hi
But failing
Happy Thanksgiving?
No
Cast instead
Voice to the ether
That it be just as lost as I

Wind bends the branch, leaf dances

Curve of smile
Dancing in eyes
Mouth forbidden and taunting
Touch of skin
Scant moments away
Like waking from a dream of without
Running away or to
So scared that who I am will be the end
Staying true but flexible to winds fate
Hating the necessity of not walking arm in arm
Listening to your headphones
Wondering what makes you dance
Take a few steps with me in joy
Want to shout my heart to the wolves
Baying hello across desert
Give in to the passionate frenzy
A heart broken and blooming
Dripping petals onto tongue
Taste the beat of my heart

The all too familiar chill of silence

This grey world
of maybes and waiting
Torn apart
silences and half said hesitation
Stretched out fingers
Fighting inclination
The touch of you
wakes the need
for more of you
Sound of your drawl
igniting long quiet desires

The quiet seeps in
Settling in between bones
In the interstices
Pockets of too heavy air
Robbing voice with grief

Hold you close
make heart known
See you in all the hidden places
Know and accept
I want you still
I want you always
I love the all of you

Thinning veil breaches all distance

This furious fire
Coiled serpent lashing out
Looking for whomever hurt you
Wronged you

Encircling you
In passion
In protection
If you want it

Or just us fires together
Looking for new places to burn
Waking in the ash and dust
Rekindled

Each day fires wake
I’m the blade
No mistake
Make

Coiled flywheel passion
Spinning up
Building even as energy
Is expended

Exploration
each precious thought
Pressed to lips and tongue
Tasting

Purr, purr
My Kat
I burn
Mind turned
Eyes set
Mine

Breathing too heavy air scraping shallow scars

Twisted fingers entwined through time
Dancing dreams scream the bereft
Last chance echoes slip behind curtain
Called by your voice
Accent makes me climb the walls
Prisoner of our times
Deliberate voice raised in song
Unheard in distance
Wistful by the wishful
Care for the casket
Drum beats exhorting abandon
Too still to be seen
Control gives in to silence
Weeping hearts begging to be loosed
Never was a simple thing
Love which beats wings against cages
Saline trails through grimes soaked skin
Wishing tears were bullets
Watching the disintegration
Loosed arrow
No missive massive enough to wake the lobotimized
Asleep by choice
Stress flakes away hard won demilitarized zone
Refuge in your arms
Head on my shoulder
Old habits waking
Muscle memory creeks hoping its recall is sound
Torn

And base truth
That all I want is you in my arms
Your voice speaking truths in my ear
Our hearts beating faster
Safe
And loved.

Candy crinkle bonfire stirs once cold heart

Somber reflection lingers too long
Trailing fingers slender with longing
Through water caught twixt one breathe and the next
Yawn thoughtfully
Pondering skin
Watching in wakeful yearn
Steps distant that still
Too far
Hands move forward toward
But stop ere flesh yields to simple caress
No time like the present
Only place all wrong
…in heart flutter deep resonance
…”With you, all places are right.”
And only conviction keeps
To furtive looks
Soft smiles
With bedroom eyes
see the sleep but not the flame beneath
But I
And you
Know
We but look for a place to burn

Uncertain steps, face upraised to a storm swollen sky

There is a dance that rages through my bloodstream
Demanding steps be taken
Demanding music and light
Demanding quiet whispers and moans

It filters through my skin
Permeates every cell
Binding closer and close

Passion reminding us to live
To risk all
For each turn of the wheel
Each shift of night into day
Leaves behind bones stripped bare
All meaning carried along in pockets grown swollen

And still
Buried in the choices we’ve stuffed ourselves full on
Crappy breadsticks before the meal
The song calls

Discard the knives buried in flesh
The Flashfire and freeze
Remember but be light
Remember
And still brave the waters

And dance
Whole and broken
Joyous and bleakly
Dance
In grace and stumbles
But always
Always
In my embrace

Caramel to the tongue still hinting of spice

No bold blue yields its colors to the snap and wave of soft hands
Lost where softness breaks harsh words
Structures flake away yielding bare steel
Heat bending light to sinister purpose

Noises hinting distance
Wistful with haunted lungs
Wanted by the tracery
Feel blood course through capillary shunt
Sweet songs sung to unfinished completion

And I
And you
And choosing

The silence stretches, speaking your name

She as water
Flows through my mind
Graceful and brash
Pulling joy
As if a magician producing scarves
Voice full of temptation
Of willful willingness to be taken in hand
She the torrent
Awakes cells long dormant
Alive for the chance of her
Too public to sweep her into arms
To hold her close and make clear my affection
Settling for
veiled words
Knowing looks
Skin taught in the yearning
A promise of tomorrows

Coiled serpent, dance the leash

fingers caress my lips in remembrance
Smooth glide
Cool and warmth
Pressure pushing me to the memory
Night blossoms around
Tongue tingles with the taste of her
Arms remember the curve of back
The boop of nose
Swirl against arms
Lightning storm cascades
Sparking fire
Spine ripples
Shaking
Yearning for the taste of her
Her eyes alight with stars