A story of four silences

It wraps around me, the soft silence of a morning just waking, of a dawn just breaking, a hopeful silence, a silence of beginnings

But I, foolish creature that I am, break silence and say good morning to people who might be but aren’t quite mine. Not to you, my goddess, you have wandered away and I know not if you will wander back. No, to others who began so promising and are now this silence.

A silence of waiting, waiting for a reply that never comes, for the ease of conversation that began us. The echoing silence of a moment that cannot be recaptured and the tortuous efforts to spark anew.

The third silence is a thing of noise and speech, of nothing, for nothing. The meaningless babble of days passing without meaning, pointless how are you’s and empty Fine’s. A silence that fills the empty spaces and still rings hollow.

And a fourth silence, a silence just for me. A silence of the heart. A silence built of pain, off loss, of need, of dreams. A silence of tears and soundless screams. A deep abiding silence. Whose only cessation would be found on your doorstep.

A knock on your door to break the silence of dawn, holding you close to break the silence of waiting, a whispered “I love you,” to break the meaningless silence, never letting you go again to break the bleak silence of the heart.

Song of the Day

Sometimes I feel as if the choices I make are all predicated on the choices of others.
That despite my so called autonomy, I am waiting.  Sometimes I wish that others would act as I do.  Would see my heart resonant as I see theirs and say you. I want you.
I would move the heavens for such a person. But until that day there is me, feeling this

Simplicity itself

It’s simple
I love you
It’s simple
You’re beautiful
It’s simple
We fit
It’s simple

Except its not simple
It never is
But complicated is better
It’s more real

Simple is a dream
The thing we say that
we want before we know
what we want

It’s difficult and messy and perfect for its imperfections.

 I don’t want a fairytale

I want what comes after the curtain fall What comes after happily ever after

I want all that you are
I’m not delusional, I’m just a romantic