Are you not
This thing
that dances
in the heat
Driven snow
A minute
A moment
A mote
Sent round
In simple touch
In gentle care
Sent round
In rough hands
And soft sighs
Just a fading
Remembrance
In the soft grass
In the soft lines
Of a hope shorn
Lined face
I hate feeling this when I should be elated
crushed and confused and possibly hated
so tired of being vulnerable
when all I want is you
I’m the dreamer and the dream
translucent, falling through my self
screaming in chaos, in silence
spinning my fictions for a heart well broken
waiting to hear
“now”
On a good day, I have less to write about. Because, truly, pain and desire are the potent mixture that fuels my poetry.
But on these days of contentment, I find my mind slipping to the thought of you. Whomever, you may be. Whether I’ve met you or not. Just the thought that these are the times I want to share. The darker times I need. These are the times I want. If the difference is clear.
Today is a day in the sun. A few hours of good. I wish I could share them with you in my arms.
a broken memory
spins at the edge of my heart
cutting away pieces
saying what might have been
blood spilling from mouth
so bound up
in the screaming of my heart
I barely hear you say hello
Please
Speak louder
I want to hear you
Give this wavering line
This movement of sand
This sharp
This soft latex
Breathing in like summer wine
Summer dies in slow gasps
While winter builds piece on piece
Tell me your thoughts
Invite me into your memory
Summer shudders
Winter takes its first step
Take my hand
And dance
….
And wake
I want that look in your eyes
That look of speculation
That says “I wonder.”
Of course
I want so much more than a look
Could be the light but I shine too narrow
only to the few do I burn
all else know me for darkness
bit and piece, all slip shadow
one to hold, one to kiss, one to love
Or arm in arm strike pose
But know me for a thieves lantern
Hooded and focused
Spilling not wide but focused
And each to each
One moment in sorrow and another
Spend joy
Spinning between grace and oblivion
Consumed by swift and sweet
Heart slows
Beats pound and breath comes languid
Hold you tight
But watch you slip free my grasp
These faultlines
Taste terrible freedom
Better to dream
Than live in forever
In your normal life
Pages and pages of silence
Sink down to bones
Simple smiles and “I’m alright”
Harsh intake, razor lungs
Ragged and bleeding
This
And
This
And this
Last chances
Read in the falling snow
What I want more than anything is you.
Have we met?
Am I waiting for you or you for me?
If you know, tell me. I dislike waiting.
I’m looking but not looking.
Not seeking but open.
Not persuing, except in dreams, and how to tell one dream from reality.
I can feel you in the world or is that my heart beating, resonating to a frequency you feel as shivers down your spine?
Have we spoken and I or you said something in our head which, if said aloud would have made all the difference?
Is it better to speak as if there is no tomorrow that matters excepting those seconds that pass while in your heart?
This eyeless sense of love moves me like a blind cave fish seeking warmth.
Or am I merely deluded, and is the delusion that love exists and waits for a word mere delusion or a hope?
And is a hope better than the truth of lonely nights?
Heat slips into veins
Heart beating in time with the trickle pulse
Of desulatory wind
Welcome arms as old lovers
Embrace to catch the sun
Light shivers and moans
Bare skin burn
Thrust hopeful into embrace of day
Foreknowledge speaks the coming night
Tears break ranks
Falling to the thirsty earth
Moon and stars rise
High waters drown the light
And I
Forgotten
Sleep
Bereft of touch
Pelgris 