Connected unconnected

When we reduce other people to sensation
to what makes us feel good
we reduce our own humanity

We may be just puzzle pieces
lost and alone
looking for where we fit
but that’s no reason
to slip in-to, hedonistic glut

This is not a rant against pleasure but rather one against taking
we’ve been fucking so long we forgot about love making
About elevating

I’m not saying that pure pleasure in the moment is wrong but most days it does not feel right
It’s empty
And when we become empty for so long we look for anything to fill us
to make us feel accepted

Because we have forgotten what being loved felt like
Act in the service of love and painful as the mounting losses may be
you’ll always be free
of regret at least

There may not be a heaven
but there is surely a hell
because we create it here in our ongoing search for a pleasure that fills us

Our minds should be our faiths
we’re always looking for a way out when we should be following the path in

We take what we want
but taking makes wanting
until we fill ourselves with Prada and prizes
flush with money we chase the one dragon we know we can catch and that feeling fills us up for a time
but it’s still there that ache to be full on waking
that second time is never as real as the first
we become trapped in a hell of our making.

Sex, drugs, and loneliness
dragging down our dreamers all looking for connection but afraid to commit to connect.

We’re above such things
we can disconnect sex from love
free from all rules
but rules are not restriction.

Rules are the freedom to know where the lines are
so you know what you are doing when you cross them
Then it’s three AM and who is this next to me
were they wanting connection or just a slim moment of shared addiction.

Am I the stranger for wanting breakfast?

Calm dividing lines

There is a audio file with this spoken as it was intended. You’ll need to go to the site to hear it.

 

 

We calmly accept
our choices are few
left left, right right like some Konami code
choose me
it’ll all be different
but a single choice
works only when all choice is taken

we’re all parishioners at the same fat trough
elections made to break us
choose the choices we chose for you or
throw your vote away
to someone we don’t control
these party lines have all been erased and polarization just makes it easier to herd us
we are young and want a purpose
want our dreams back
but it serves no purpose
cause our choice is the lesser of two evils
all men and women
strawmen in this race of equals
both feeding your fear of the other
lest you vote your conscience
they say they’ll make it all better
but how can corruption and cancer heal our wounds
the lesser of two evils has been killing us we’re electing the butcher to be our doctor
this one takes a kidney and that one a lung
but at least I’m still alive to pay for the privilege
They rigged the system
And we keep tightening our own noose
Red and blue
The choice between blood on the ground and oxygen deprivation
I’d love to be the rallying call
but I’ve been screaming for years
and you still haven’t heard
choosing who holds the gun to your head
doesn’t matter if they’re Blue or Red
dead is dead
the body just hasn’t stopped twitching

Crossroads as spoken word and musings

This is a audio file so it will need to be listened to on the site.

 

Woke up

Woke up empty
Feeling only that I should feel something
am I broken?
Or still breaking?
Or is this nothing, what normal feels like?
Did I lose my emotions in the maze of sleep?
Or have I been feeling so much for so long that my nerves are fried and just want a break?
The one thing I can’t do, is the one thing I want to, and its just like deja vu, but different.
Maybe that feeling takes me straight back to beginning and only this thinking is what’s keeping me going, but going where?
Into your arms or simply delusion?
These words that I speak in the hopes that they’re heard but fearing these words because words have consequences and I can’t stomach the thought of losing what is almost but never was.
These words that I speak get me to the heart where I’ve been hiding behind hoping, so much easier to say good morning than say…
I’m hurting are you hurting too?

Ode to sorrow

there, into darkness, I walk
kiss me, taste me
the moment stands still
just me, just you

alone

On the drive in-Audio-Sleep