The solubility of tears

I bear an unfortunate truth. Namely that I cannot forget people or places. Things I’ve read or watched but not physically experienced are harder to retain.
But people and place and and what I was feeling at those intersections, they are always with me. For good or for ill. I envy people who can walk away. Who can put people in the rear view and mostly not look back. Or let go.

I can only work through the situation. Examining all the angles, understanding my place in events and relationships. And still left to wonder, because the picture is never complete. I can never see their side.

So while I can keep going forward. Because there is no other real choice. I can never forget. And those I’ve declared mine. Those I’ve said are my person. I can never forget. Nor leave behind, if it is in my power and is not against their interest to do so.

But still, the memories pile up, some I shoulder alone and others I have help carrying. But all are there, indelible and immutable.

Memories…the burden no one thinks is one

Struggle to wake

Summer morning into mourning
In twisting and yearning
Struggle to present the smallest of faces
To keep from knocking on your door
Your passionless castle
A cane to my back
As I hopelessly fall
I scrabble against high walls
Clinging in hope
This shadow is burning
Soon there’ll be no place to hide
Only yearning but falling apart