Need is not a dirty word

 

When I say I need you, I don’t mean I need you to pick up my clothes. I don’t mean I need you to take care of me. I don’t mean I need you to make me dinner.

When I say I need you, I mean your presence in my life makes the sun shine a bit brighter. I mean your presence in my life makes my days pass easier and not quicker. I mean your presence in my life drives my passion and forces my creativity to new avenues and choices.

My need is a thing of desire and joy and change. I need because wanting is lukewarm and nothing in the context of love should be anything but the fire burning.

I need comfort and safety but I need it not as a person or place to retreat to but to strike out from. To experience the vastness of life and still know that together we are safe because with each other there is a place to be without that shifting chaos.

I need you to feed me oxygen and fire in equal measure as I feed you earth and water. Or let us not be bound by needs but feed each other golden apples plucked from an immortal tree and know that as one desires the other will provide.

I need you to disagree with me and fight me because I believe I’m right but I’m often wrong and I trust you to give me the truth. But I won’t believe it. And we’ll make up and a few months later, I’ll say “You were right.”

I need you to be vulnerable with me and let me heal the hurts that I can and hold you together while you heal the ones I can’t reach. I need you to know my insecurities and know that despite them I am strong and will not fail you when it counts.

Need is not a dirty word. It is passion coupled to desire. Put want back where it belongs. I want a salad. I want to drive. I want to have a comfortable chair.

I don’t need those things. I need you.

Elder Dreams-Audio

 

in silence bound
in seeking sought
where others bind
i was bought
when hearts collide and justice founds
my hopes do bide, in collision
sound siren call
revision

in loves sweet sigh
in voices raised
where heavens call
undertree did dance
and palm to palm
and join to join
praised by kine
in moments ere the fall

they seek, they find,
the burn is seasons rime and dragging feet do come to call and hopes are risen
ere the fall

but drink my wine and drink my blood
and we shall step above the sea to feast and dance our revelry
you seek a fight, we seek to feast and in the middle there’ rise a beast
in death we feast and seek the battle draught
in life we love and lust
break bread with us, break meek

but I am bound, as ever was, and in the silence

weep

Connected unconnected

When we reduce other people to sensation
to what makes us feel good
we reduce our own humanity

We may be just puzzle pieces
lost and alone
looking for where we fit
but that’s no reason
to slip in-to, hedonistic glut

This is not a rant against pleasure but rather one against taking
we’ve been fucking so long we forgot about love making
About elevating

I’m not saying that pure pleasure in the moment is wrong but most days it does not feel right
It’s empty
And when we become empty for so long we look for anything to fill us
to make us feel accepted

Because we have forgotten what being loved felt like
Act in the service of love and painful as the mounting losses may be
you’ll always be free
of regret at least

There may not be a heaven
but there is surely a hell
because we create it here in our ongoing search for a pleasure that fills us

Our minds should be our faiths
we’re always looking for a way out when we should be following the path in

We take what we want
but taking makes wanting
until we fill ourselves with Prada and prizes
flush with money we chase the one dragon we know we can catch and that feeling fills us up for a time
but it’s still there that ache to be full on waking
that second time is never as real as the first
we become trapped in a hell of our making.

Sex, drugs, and loneliness
dragging down our dreamers all looking for connection but afraid to commit to connect.

We’re above such things
we can disconnect sex from love
free from all rules
but rules are not restriction.

Rules are the freedom to know where the lines are
so you know what you are doing when you cross them
Then it’s three AM and who is this next to me
were they wanting connection or just a slim moment of shared addiction.

Am I the stranger for wanting breakfast?

Calm dividing lines

There is a audio file with this spoken as it was intended. You’ll need to go to the site to hear it.

 

 

We calmly accept
our choices are few
left left, right right like some Konami code
choose me
it’ll all be different
but a single choice
works only when all choice is taken

we’re all parishioners at the same fat trough
elections made to break us
choose the choices we chose for you or
throw your vote away
to someone we don’t control
these party lines have all been erased and polarization just makes it easier to herd us
we are young and want a purpose
want our dreams back
but it serves no purpose
cause our choice is the lesser of two evils
all men and women
strawmen in this race of equals
both feeding your fear of the other
lest you vote your conscience
they say they’ll make it all better
but how can corruption and cancer heal our wounds
the lesser of two evils has been killing us we’re electing the butcher to be our doctor
this one takes a kidney and that one a lung
but at least I’m still alive to pay for the privilege
They rigged the system
And we keep tightening our own noose
Red and blue
The choice between blood on the ground and oxygen deprivation
I’d love to be the rallying call
but I’ve been screaming for years
and you still haven’t heard
choosing who holds the gun to your head
doesn’t matter if they’re Blue or Red
dead is dead
the body just hasn’t stopped twitching