Love that is comfortable is a love that is too easy
It is merely comfort
Love that is real always feels a bit uneasy
It should be growing
Changing
And growth, change are always uncomfortable
Like new skin
Without that feeling
Love sits on its laurels
It stagnates
And stagnation leads to the death of love
Let love ride uneasy
Let it be uncomfortable
Let it prompt change
Let it prompt growth
Or else
Prepare yourself for its loss
change
Five minutes ago
3 hours ago
You were crying
2 hours ago
I was concerned
One hour ago
We started talking
Fifty five minutes ago
I held you
Fifty minutes ago
I kissed away your tears
Fourty five minutes ago
You laughed
Fourty minutes ago
I grinned
Thirty five minutes ago
I reiterated my heart
Thirty minutes ago
You demurred
Twenty five minutes ago
I insisted
Twenty minutes ago
You accepted my words shyly, as you have before
Fifteen minutes ago
My friends smiled benevolently as I lost the thread of conversation, thinking of you
Ten minutes ago
I lifted your eyes to mine in fierce possession
Five minutes ago
I learned why you were crying
……….
……….
……….
……….
I spout neutral words
My world is blown apart like a sand castle on Omaha beach
I need to hold you, to tell you everything will be ok
I can’t bring myself to
Everything is different now
This physical and emotional distance
There is nothing I can do but support you
As you make a decision that effects every future
I’m paralyzed between hearts need to insist that you are mine and as long as that is even the tiniest bit true everything will be fine
between my minds insistence that this precarious place I occupied will be pushed aside if not out completely
between my magical selfs seeing of all the branching future’s and the truncated lines
between my empaths need to support your emotional needs
between, between, between
And if this is what I’m feeling, then what must the maelstrom of your heart and mind be
I wish it were as simple as me being your safe harbour
the insistence,
the need for nothing to change
Simple illusion as everything does
…..
…..
but I’ll hold here, I will never walk away from you
hopefully I’ll have words to say
hopefully I’ll know what to say
hopefully
Hope
Share this:
Thoughts on change
Every change that truly effects who you are is a destruction. It’s like a molting, the old falls away and while the appearance may be similar the core is different. Often there is a struggle to get free of that old useless skin, to hold onto the safety of the familiar. But this safety is illusion. We prefer that things remain the same and because of this we blind ourselves to the changes in others and in ourselves. Often taking a violent revelation to allow the scales to fall away. Not that what I do, constant self examination, is any better. The consequences are different. But an acknowledgement that the only true constant is change must be made and if this is true then would it not be better to embrace that change rather than hide from it? I believe so.
Share this:
Powers and principalities
If I could sooth every ache
stop every tear
turn sadness to joy
show fear as hope
heal the pain of heartbreak
I would
You are the light in my world
In your cocoon of my heart
I would see you become all that you desire
Share this:
Softly dying
In the complications of morning
The heat of the coming day
My heart has started trembling
Begging you to stay
Life, it runs in circles
And I am lost within
Just stay with me awhile
I’ve lost the will to win
I’m right back at beginning
Stay in the dying light
The softest breathe of mourning
I long to make it right
But stay with me, my lover
And drink my blood like wine
I am lost, forsaken
I fear, it may be time
Share this:
Detente
A lifetime of words spill out
Hearts blood on the page
Desire, want, and need
Logic and emotions in sync
Ruled by nought but the moment
The moment and you
A world of spun glass and long stemmed rose whips
Screams and whimpers
Ecstasy and agony and the float
Feel my flesh, know that I am real
Ask and it will be done
Share this:
Deep structure in organic thought
If one has a base set of rules, basic operating parameters, from which to live by. Then one has a mental base of operations from which to assail reality. This allows one the mental framework to adapt and change as time passes and circumstances twist. While retaining a core true self that changes as interpretation of the basic rule structure themselves undergo changes.
Changes forced by the ever flowing river of time and the constant desire to be the epitimouse version of the self. To be a person worthy of your stated goals. This adaptability must be tempered with logic and compassion as the ever evolving self can be seen by others as a betrayal of the basis the relationship was founded on.
While working on the inner self it is important to work on one’s relationships to others else one will find oneself alone. Which, while conducive on some levels to seeking, is ultimately dangerous to overall psyche of the human animal. It should further be noted that at some point the influence of others, of outside perspectives, is a necessary component of growth. Without such, your evolution will be halted by a starvation of input.
Emotionally, a opinion from a friend will be given more weight than one of a stranger or acquaintance. If only because of that emotional connection. Therefore these connections become important in later growth stages.
It is easy to become comfortable, to stop growing, stop learning, stop changing. Thus it is important to make the decision early that these changes are necessary for self improvement and as such must be allowed to be explored. One need not incorporate every avenue of realization into one’s core but one should be aware of the option and parameters of doing so.
Pelgris 