Is there anything more daunting than the blank page? When your heart and thoughts are awhirl. When your mind is making connections and your heart is making wishes. When your subconscious is screaming for attention and your head is pounding. When your eyes burn from not sleeping and your heart begins to sink. It all becomes too much, and you just want a minutes peace. To sink into the arms of a friend, a lover, and forget. To feel safe. So easy, seductively easy, treacherously easy…
Poems
Fire light
Consuming fire, lick my flesh
pull the ropes tighter, wield the whip
strike flesh, pull cry
firelight throw shadows
devolve to grunts and growls
reduce to screams
panting pleading for more
one more touch, one more taste, one more
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Call and response
Your words slip across my tongue igniting fires
Lashed and tied
I can only hope the next syllable brings release
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Departure
Wander out past safety
Past warnings and posted notice
Eyes drink in the precipice
The wet heat of your breathe
Bends and sways the small hairs
Your hand slides up my arm
I turn, lift hands up under sweater
My too cold hands meet the fever warmth of your skin
I lean down rubbing my cheek against yours, nuzzling the crook where neck meets shoulder
We move, mouths finding each other
Hand in hand
This next step we take together
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The pitying look
How would you respond if I took you in my arms and held you close? If I softly kissed your lips? It’s the question I ask each time I see you. It’s the question I’m too cowardly to ask. Fearing not that you’d say no, but that you would look at me with pity and say yes. Because even that yes I would take, and enslave my heart to you forever for the slight chance of that act.
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never stop
How am I to find you?
waive your arms, show me you are here
I look for you still
make yourself known to me
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Gaze
I feel your breathe on my skin
This faded azure sky
Bleeding out to black
The moon, the stars, and you
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Twirl
Lay your burden down and dance with me
Grasp my hand and press close
Whisper to me of desires unsaid, as we sway and step
Disregard those around us
they are of no consequence
Only you and I exist
Dream of me
of my touch, my voice, my words
Share this world with me
or find new world’s in our kiss
in our eyes
Cry or scream, laugh or squee,
this minute, this moment made manifest
and you, and you.
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Immovable object
I love you
I love you
I love you
I hear your voice…I love you
I see you smile…I love you
You retreat under your hoodie…I love you
You send me a picture of a baby Fenix fox…I love you
Your face lights up when you see me…I love you
You don’t think you want to hear it…I love you
You push me away…I love you
I can’t stop this…I love you
You are more amazing each day…I love you
We stop speaking each day…. I love you
I see your name… I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
Its been months, I just can’t stop.
I love you
Note: I regret posting this. Not because it is not true. But because I posted in a vulnerable moment without consideration of wider implications. I won’t pull it down. It scares me that it is up. I’m afraid of who will see it and what things they may conclude. So I’m afraid and as such it stays.
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Butterfly
cut off from the world
In your cocoon of blankets
Snuggled down against the noise
I’ll crawl in beside you and hold you
Or
Touch the back of your neck and say, “I’m here,
Always”
Pelgris 