Poetry and the future

I wrote yesterday about a poem I had written for someone who I longed for who never quite returned my affection.

Today, I write about all the future poems that I will dedicate to the Goddess of my Heart.

I know, I know. Every artist dedicates at least one work to a current love. It’s inevitable. We are passionate about our work and passionate about our loves. It is inevitable that the two would intersect.

But I’ve dedicated many works to her already. Anything Hash tagged GMH is about or for her. Dedicated to her.

I’m a romantic. We all know that. But I know she reads these. And that is the best feeling. That she reads what I write. In some ways, everything I write is in dedication to her. She captivates me. I sometimes feel like a complete idiot. Because I write her and I ramble, as I am wont to do, and I think I sound like a fool. Maybe not, maybe I just sound romantic.

It’s the duel nature of the artist and critic.
Perhaps, I’m overly harsh in this regard.

But here I go, rambling again.

Poetry. It’s sometimes as little as a sentence and I am something of a minimalist, trying to distill down to the essential words. So that there is space for the reader to project themselves into the piece.

With every conversation
Your words etch into me
Taking up residence
in my safe places
Where my becomes our

The mind ranges back

there is a poem I wrote more than a year ago.  Something that was for someone.  An unrequited love who was intimate and sharing and all the great stuff.  But only on her terms.  Only when she needed me. And only as a ‘friend’.  No this is not a ‘nice guy’ or a friend zone post. We were more than friends.  More intimate than friends.  But by calling us friends she got to minimize what we were and make it easier for her to treat me as disposable,  I think, anyway.  I never really understood the point of lying to yourself about important things. I wrote this and she was not interested in hearing it.  So it sat on a shelf. Really a text file on my phone until I thought of the perfect last line today.
It was all about how I loved her and wanted her in my life, how I saw specific things about her and about us and all that jazz. But really, i was just a toy to her. Or I don’t know what.  But it wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t good.

But I’m not sharing the poem.

Instead,  I’m just sharing the last line.  Because the last line says it all.


I love you
beyond your desire
to love me back

Sitting alone, watching the sunset

Let me wrap you in my embrace
Tell me what you think/want/hope
I’ll show you my flaws and hope you don’t run
Show me your scars
I’ll kiss every one.
Like strangers or just strange
Foreigners even to our selves
Let us travel
And discover each other
We are not bound by convention
Why proceed conventionally
Break with our mundane reality
Let us know each other and be reborn

Or forego the metaphysics
and kiss me

Winter takes what little is left

Make a fiddle from my bones
Shape me to useful tone
Anything is better than being alone
This incarnation whose heart was stone

Take flower from cracked deep marrow
Drink me and dance the yarrow
This single tear over my barrow
Or feed me into the hollow

This light, this love did change me
Though sullen shores beckon on bleak wings
Hope lightened the burden but broke my back
Times passage, preceded through

So drink my blood sugar lows
And hyacinth petals fall in order rows
Or fake your laughter, smiling bows
But I tarry never after

This simple crime that sings to sleep
Wakes the dreamer but breaches deep
Of brittle words to interpret, keep

We bite and struggle
suck air and tremble
Simpler still to heartbeat slow
And in the springtime
Cease

The sleeper, wakes

This heart beats
It beats
It beats
I reach out
Through the sound
Through the pounding
Out through the reverberations
Shivering on the air
Until snaps sound
like gates crashing open
Sensation floods in
out beyond the boundaries
of skin
Every hair rises
Connection
I wake
I wake
I wake
Take my hand
Wake with me

Quiet

The world holds hush
Silence hangs heavy
Breaking
Fighting for breath
Dream missive
Trying to find connection
Frantic
Resolution fades
Hope exhales
Last breathe
To shatter
In the silence

Stones don’t remember

Know that I am alive
as we are born
and gently dying
shiver awake in light
break us apart
soaring to constellation sky