Resonant on the frequency of attenuation

Listening to the background hum
Silence an impenetrable barrier
Hear the rush of blood
Muted cotton closing in
Numb
One too many traumas
Like shock but with less bemusement
Everything normal saying it’s anything but
Something shattered can be mended
Something broken can be healed
Gilt gold edges fixing cracks
But missing,
Or dust and shadows
Complicated makes one long for false rainbows of simpler times
False memories easier than this sound
Of nothing

What a step on the road may herald

What words do I speak when all words turn about and about to face towards you
like power lines running beneath the surface carrying me forwards
Dying on the vine for the sound of a voice
But choose and choose again,
You are no passing indulgence or forward desire but vital to all
Just a pill and a show and a soul laid bare
Found alive, at the start, at the end
Of long journeys beginning

To linger too long

We all see it looming
The Herald of dawn’s breathe turning
The task undone
The words not spoke
Counterpoint, spoke too much
Our regrets pile on pile
Against Dwindling hopes
Until hope is lost
And only the dull rust of the blade
Thrust haphazard into flesh remains
As well to walk into the sun
Rise or Set
Head high
Choices made
Last turn of the wheel
Made by one’s own hand

Reckless healer

I miss romantic love as much as I miss that blissful period when I loved only myself.
A brief time after forgiveness of things beyond my control leading up to the swooping vultures of this guy’s interesting to play with.
Or in thinking that my heart is genuinely filled and cutting it open like a pomegranate to drip seeds down hungry throats.
The pain a substitute for reciprocity
Until, woken I ask for clarification
And
In so doing
Find myself to have been alone
Or instead with pale spectre as companion
Try to shove a heart dripping juice
Never quite full again
Into a chest grown to small
Instead hold in hands
Hoping to find sharing
Or,
At last
For inflammation to cool
The swelling goes down
And fits back in chest
Or to lament that fact
Can’t make you want
More than this distance
To be admired
And loved from
Space removed
So much easier to go quiet
To fade
When I no longer see you
And the blade no longer sinks home with each smile aimed away

Hearts still foolish, even as they break

There’s a part of me that will always yearn for you
though I know you don’t think of me
a part that always wonders what if
though I’m not who you want to see
a part that spins the possibility
though you’re already walking away
a part made of hopes and memories
though it was never me in your eyes

A madness, a sharpness, a bitter kiss

Loved hard, loved true, loved only

Sitting on a bench at the edge of the road
In the last light of sunset

Winter takes what little is left

Make a fiddle from my bones
Shape me to useful tone
Anything is better than being alone
This incarnation whose heart was stone

Take flower from cracked deep marrow
Drink me and dance the yarrow
This single tear over my barrow
Or feed me into the hollow

This light, this love did change me
Though sullen shores beckon on bleak wings
Hope lightened the burden but broke my back
Times passage, preceded through

So drink my blood sugar lows
And hyacinth petals fall in order rows
Or fake your laughter, smiling bows
But I tarry never after

This simple crime that sings to sleep
Wakes the dreamer but breaches deep
Of brittle words to interpret, keep

We bite and struggle
suck air and tremble
Simpler still to heartbeat slow
And in the springtime
Cease