How can I be
A dancer on the precipice
When I am so afraid
Can I choose
A path forward
A step between
To a point of the infinite
What feels like falling
Strength wars with the push
Sleep a promise unfulfilled
Searching for a place of safety
Knowing all along
We might not all make it
Knowing the step forward is the only choice
But all roads are open
How to choose
When choices shut doors
Instead of away
It is easy to say that love is a choice and not a feeling. Because we want things to be one thing or another. We want uncomplicated and simple solutions. But this leads us to believe that if we no longer feel love that we should just choose to be with the person because we are choosing love. And that is fucking dangerous.
Yes, love should be a conscious choice. Don’t allow your feelings to rule but when your feelings of love are gone, it should be a flag to examine why.
Because love is a choice but the kind of choice it is, is to see. To see all that a person is and choose to love them. In the best way, it is to allow one’s feelings to develop from seeing who they are and each day realizing why you love them.
Now. That shit is easy to say. And some days it will be all you can do not to be super fucking annoyed by everything that they do, but the feeling of love will pull you through. And on the obverse side, if all you have is the feeling of love without the reasons that you love them….observe that. Because if you feel love but there is no quality in them that makes clear why, or if what you once loved has worn away and has been replaced by fear, uncertainty, and doubt…well that’s dangerous…
Burn with me and I shall set you free
dance our unfettered dreams in cadence
and in chaos
or spin away and find your freedom
in arms not mine
in hearts not mine
for I am lost and you
are better off on paths well traveled
I am forbidden fruit or perhaps too rare
and left unseen at the crossroads
time is a river
but choose to stay
and I will bend the world to your choosing
shift and bow
tell me if our dance is over
To not take chances from fear is to betray yourself. It is not bravery one must act with. Instead one must examine ones fears. Does this action make you afraid? If so does the fear serve its intended purpose and keep you from harming yourself or others? If so then it behooves you to examine the desire to find out the why’s of it. If the fear does not serve you then you must take the action. There will be consequences, there will be fallout. Prepare your mind for that potentiality. Then let it go. Embrace the action as one of beauty. Then step forward.
We live lives sheltered in our fear. Comfortable, safe lives. But ask instead why you live. If you have the life you want, then ignore me. I am joyful in your finding and keeping of it. But if you have not, then ask yourself why not? You are the only constant. The tools available to you are embodied in the choices you make. Accept that the world is chaos. Accept that the only thing you have control over are your choices.
Embrace fear. Embrace consequence. Embrace choice.
I sleep alone, space carved in my heart, in my posture for you. I wait, perhaps forever, but I wait. Knowing you are worth every tear. Every pain. And only hope my choice does not add to your pains