Slip

Soft murmurs frission silence
Cold seeps deep
Brittle amber
Song rolls from frozen lips
Rise graceful lies
Dip
Twirl in dance
Words caught
on tongue made thick

A heart sings, listening

Hold me close and closer
Kiss the war in my heart
Settle the maelstrom
Take my hand

As I am safe in your light
You are safe in my darkness
Seekers both of different mien
There are roads to travel
I would see them all by your side

Last moments before sleep

Slip aching into away
silent shift
the dreamer burns
the flame
illusion
dictate of bloody vessel
stripped of all but lips
sheltered in my arms
dance falter step
but drink in
bobbing black or flame cascade
subtle kiss to push over
choices undone
unravel
oh hold for touch
all blooms grow
stop choosing not
in the graveyard of sleep

Athame

shallow origination mists
beckon twilight
beyond the slip of moonlight
drinking sublimated shadow
in cerulean twist
listing as sea overtakes this engine of edifice
sacrificed altars where sorrow and rust
war in measure to oblivions cursed dream
simple turnabout
the wheel drift
made present in pale limb
shudder forth
in the breaking light of dawn
empty vessel of night
spilled lifeblood
to let you
wake

7 words to fall in love

Your decisions, respectful of them, am I.
My passion is infinite concerning us, you.
Seeing you smile makes my world better.
Let’s joke and laugh and be silly.
While I hold breathe, you are safe
Love is infinity, you collapse the waveform.

Stepped out 

Spinning my wheels in this perpetual motion machine of self doubt and recrimination
each misstep outlined and underscored
each disclosed ‘secret’ filled with the thought that I’m weird for thinking this way
and when reassured that I’m not
thinking that I’m being humored
for if my eccentricity was accepted why is it so simple to walk away from me
abandoned by those I love leaves me grasping
makes them leave all the sooner

I think I’m being honest when I say I have abandonment issues
I’m not holding you hostage
I’m just asking that when you leave you tell me why
Huh, ‘when you leave’,
I don’t expect you to stay and what does
that say
of the shape my heart is in
or is it just thinking realistic

I fear that I am not enough
that the day to day life of reading and writing and work
laundry and dinners and silences that drag on too long because I’m holding the conversation in my head
because I want to say the right thing
the thing that let’s you stay with me
but it’s a fools errand
if I knew what to say I would have said
now I’m being too cautious
I’m holding back because each time I hold forward it’s all too much but maybe your different?

Maybe I am the one you want but being honest
you, whoever you are
are likely with someone else
I stopped playing musical chairs awhile back
now that the music stopped wandered back into the room

Connected unconnected

When we reduce other people to sensation
to what makes us feel good
we reduce our own humanity

We may be just puzzle pieces
lost and alone
looking for where we fit
but that’s no reason
to slip in-to, hedonistic glut

This is not a rant against pleasure but rather one against taking
we’ve been fucking so long we forgot about love making
About elevating

I’m not saying that pure pleasure in the moment is wrong but most days it does not feel right
It’s empty
And when we become empty for so long we look for anything to fill us
to make us feel accepted

Because we have forgotten what being loved felt like
Act in the service of love and painful as the mounting losses may be
you’ll always be free
of regret at least

There may not be a heaven
but there is surely a hell
because we create it here in our ongoing search for a pleasure that fills us

Our minds should be our faiths
we’re always looking for a way out when we should be following the path in

We take what we want
but taking makes wanting
until we fill ourselves with Prada and prizes
flush with money we chase the one dragon we know we can catch and that feeling fills us up for a time
but it’s still there that ache to be full on waking
that second time is never as real as the first
we become trapped in a hell of our making.

Sex, drugs, and loneliness
dragging down our dreamers all looking for connection but afraid to commit to connect.

We’re above such things
we can disconnect sex from love
free from all rules
but rules are not restriction.

Rules are the freedom to know where the lines are
so you know what you are doing when you cross them
Then it’s three AM and who is this next to me
were they wanting connection or just a slim moment of shared addiction.

Am I the stranger for wanting breakfast?