A nightmare

So my brain finally figured out something that would scare me and not trigger one of my subconscious tripwires. Which draw me into a lucid dream should a nightmare prove too scary.

It was pretty typical weirdness. A pharaoh brought back to life, filming a movie and not being friends with the extras who didn’t want to be friends with us anyway. A house party, and a snowstorm.

Then I receive a email. A email chronicling the manipulations of the person I’m in love with. The person who (in the dream) is manipulating me. Screwing with my head just because she can. Laughing about how she got my trust. Got into my life. About how utterly foolish I am. About how she got access to my wordpress account.

About my wordpress account being scoured of content.

I rush to check it and I’m locked out. I reset my password and get in and everything is gone. The account isn’t deleted. But everything is gone. Just this barren shell of everything I’ve written and worked on for more than 3 years.

Then I forced myself awake and it was one of those times where I kept waking but not up, just into another dream. Making it particularly horrible.

Song for the Day

So this song is a bit of lyrics that I wrote, more of a bit of doggerel really.  This is me singing.  Not professionally done and maybe not amazing like most of these songs but It’s from the heart so maybe that makes up for it

Lowercase

I will make a canvas of your skin
In blacks and blues
In swirled greens and yellows
In words pressed deep into flesh

My marks will bind us
Deep as the soul
This possession of all that you are

Belies the truth
Your total possession of me
Looking up

Tears
Eyes pleading for one more flick of the lash
The key to your ownership
Words drip like heroin
“Thank you, Sir”

Candy and Absinthe-Audio


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Candy and Absinthe

Spread my wings out
To fly
But they
Are made of bones

Just fighting
To stay alive
Just tired
Of being
Alone

Stretch my hand
Out to the sky
I know you’re
Worth the fight

Kiss me
I’m falling
Catch me
I’m losing my mind

One touch and
I’m home
So tired
Of being alone

But you’re here
You’re real
These things that
I feel

These doubts that
Beat
In my chest
False prophets
Caged in regret

But you’re here now
You’re real
Wake me, from this dream

Kiss me
I am clean

Ballroom Chapter 1-Audio

Please visit the site to hear the audio

Silence…. Draws out

An unhealed wound bleeding slow pulse
Thick with the poison
Alkaline tears burning as they roll
resisting the pull of gravity to cling to skin
one more bare second of together
wetness drying on a face
wracked by silent screams
voice made quiet by the nightjar
and a horrible sense of ichorous urgency
nobility snuffed out
so much simpler to bleed than to break

under the weight of hoping