Producing blades from blood
Drip by slow drip
Each day dying a little more
Trying to make the impossible
Pains bargain
Selling time to pay for bread
Selling life to buy life
Eak out one more day
Closer to the impossible
A blade Forged of hearts iron
One more day
Until all chains are broken
Poems
Over the night dark sea
We are planets
orbiting a star
Which has winked out
We dance and spin
We see each other in passing
Linked by tenuous thread
Sunk in the gravity well
Day by day we grow cold
Heated only from within
And those brief words
Each creating friction
Enough to make another hour
Last I love you’s
We’ll never hear again
Last hugs
Making us safe
Making us home
Loose threads
Deep hearts cooling
In the long dark
Calling for response
Each time
Longer and longer
Until
Only
silence
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Too long spent holding on
These painted flower memories
Playing back
Time after time
Bright and shining and lifeless
Just one more time
One more turn of the wheel
These not quite lies
Movies playing in the heart until the brain
Believes
This is what was
This is what will be
Painted pictures making truths
Until the eyes see
The mirror reflects
And what was
What will be
Drowns
Crashes down
Edifice crumbled
One more I love you
Before I sleep
Hope….
What’s that even mean?
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Confusion makes the man
Absence is a distance that no technology can breach
The lack of human touch slowly shredding will
Need grows beyond capacity to compensate
Confusion/decision/false compromise
Giving up
What’s the point
What’s needed is beyond capability
Hold you close
Never want to let go
Slipping away
No future without freedom
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Time opens new wounds
Words come slowly in the drip and dribble of obligation
What begins in pain and despair gives way to structure
Gives way to truth
And still forward is hard to see
Harder as people fade away
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gone away too soon, fled before the fall
Quiet leeches into skin
Torpor pulling down
Blue sky burns clear
An alcohol flame
Wing outstretched
Sheltered in the lee
Drinking water warm as blood
Dark circles and piercing eyes
Held breathe
Slipping away
Last oblivion
Last peace
Last dream
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When we jump, will we fall or fly?
Nights passed and still sleep has yet to find me
Words unsaid
Unthunk
Undone
Unravel out seeking tether
Weary eyes no match for a weary heart bound up in aching
Telling myself what is
Telling myself what to do
And still my heart pounds and screams
Rocking itself to anything but sleep
The conscious mind says follow the path
Says wait
Says we have a plan and a way and just follow the steps
And my heart cries
But not so schismatic
We are united
Maybe that’s the gift of knowing
To break oneself into pieces which observe and know the whole
Or maybe my tired brain is seek connections
To hold onto any truth to keep from sinking
And maybe I want to sink
Though I’ve seen the dark precipice of death from the shores of drowning
And its not peaceful
So no sinking
But my mind drowns
Drifts away
Untended
Untethered
How to sleep?
Waiting for fate to flip the next card
Was it always this hard…
Probably
It’s easy to forget the sludge dark
When you have somehow managed a bit of time in the sky
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Stars birthed, eyes unfocused
Pain flares
Break the surface
Tension squeezing down
No surcease
Just these days passing
Flares fly
Signaling future possible
Clawing forward
Another hour
Another day
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A billion miles, to flare and die, ere reaching a destination
Nothing wakes in the palace of death
Where lives break and hearts die
Truths unveiled
From a river of blood
The leprous moon
Bays its children home
Light fades in the eyes of those chosen
Each turn and turnabout
Lost labyrinth
Quiet burns away
Time leeches the bright sun
Skies open in smiles
And nothing that was
Survives the wind whipped
Flaying
Savage knives turned into
And breaking
Final remorse
Before the last tear falls
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A heart as sharp as a knife
Fear crests in the heart
New
And maybe
And failure that is unacceptable
Crescendo of the possibility
The hope that breathes reality
Unsteady from the dream
The click
Click
Click
Of dominos falling
Of standing stone portents
Of stars weeping and impacts
Shaking the world
What will be
May be
And how to handle the logistical reality
While the heart screams
YES
And runs headlong into the future
The mind plotting paths
Hoping for a few more resources
But building as fast as possible
No schism
Heart and head are goal oriented
Looking towards the long-term truth
That future where need and desire and real talk
Manifest into real arms
Real lips
Safety and shelter
In being seen
Known
And chosen
Pelgris 