Too long spent holding on

These painted flower memories
Playing back
Time after time
Bright and shining and lifeless
Just one more time
One more turn of the wheel
These not quite lies
Movies playing in the heart until the brain
This is what was
This is what will be
Painted pictures making truths
Until the eyes see
The mirror reflects
And what was
What will be
Crashes down
Edifice crumbled
One more I love you
Before I sleep
What’s that even mean?

Dying from the lack

There’s only so many days you can be sleep deprived without going crazy
Or you’d think that but here you are
Or maybe seeing movement out of the corner of the eye
ISN’T a anxiety reaction and you are hallucinating
Maybe that manic feeling right as caffeine hits your limbic system is that swing to thinking you are fine and everything will work out
Sanity is such a fine line
And ever present emotional pain bubbles up like tar
Coating every surface making it harder to move
No solutions
Just want to be held
Whether physically
Or buoyed up by your words
So I can sleep
So I can make it to you
So we are safe

Thinking as a we
When we aren’t yet a yes
My sanity must be slipping

If we wake, let us wake together

I am thirst spent in moments spellbound
Hunger grows without regard
Desirous of your touch
But more your words

Come softly away
Embrace in person
Know words spilled out
For silver truth

Match action
Clasp hands
Know me for truth

You are mine forever
As I am yours
Let us join
and become heirs
to our own Joy

Let what was once buried
Break newly sprung
Come my dear goddess
Let us rejoice

Clasp hands and become whole

Hello depression, where’ve you been?

Sleep deprivation slowly erodes joy and hope until I’m left with nothing but a thin thread of possible tomorrow. Which, in this state, I see for a game of liars poker. The only desire I have is to hold my love in my arms and sleep. But I’m alone and even dreams betray me. Lost amidst the strewn rubble of could have been. Wandering in a maze built from my own false turnings.