Pelgris

Nights passed and still sleep has yet to find me
Words unsaid
Unthunk
Undone
Unravel out seeking tether
Weary eyes no match for a weary heart bound up in aching
Telling myself what is
Telling myself what to do
And still my heart pounds and screams
Rocking itself to anything but sleep
The conscious mind says follow the path
Says wait
Says we have a plan and a way and just follow the steps
And my heart cries
But not so schismatic
We are united
Maybe that’s the gift of knowing
To break oneself into pieces which observe and know the whole
Or maybe my tired brain is seek connections
To hold onto any truth to keep from sinking
And maybe I want to sink
Though I’ve seen the dark precipice of death from the shores of drowning
And its not peaceful
So no sinking
But my mind drowns
Drifts away
Untended
Untethered
How to sleep?
Waiting for fate to flip the next card
Was it always this hard…
Probably
It’s easy to forget the sludge dark
When you have somehow managed a bit of time in the sky