The tenderest of truths
is the faintest slip of a lie
A truth withheld
becomes the well of tarnished voices
Until
At break
Effluvia pours free
Drowning dreamer and dream
A truth spoken
Cuts clean
A blade slick with blood
Cut my flesh
A thousand times
I’ll not fester in secret
I’ll be your truth
If you’ll be mine
I can inflict upon you such pleasure that lines begin to blur and only your desires dictate which is pain and which is pleasure.
I can make your mind tremble with anticipation of my touch.
With trepidation and luscious full lips.
I can show you a world where only your limits contain you.
Where nothing is forbidden.
Where all pains become pleasures and all sensation serves its truest purpose.
Give me your hand and I will make you mine.
And becoming mine know safety and sin.
I’m a broken record
I’m falling in love with you, love with you, love with you
I’m skipping out of the best parts
Cause all I see is you, all I see is you all I see is you
I just want this one to last
But I can’t stop my heart from thinking
Can’t stop my heart from thinking
Can’t stop my heart from thinking
About falling in love with you, you, you
I’m just a broken record
Singing to the night
Just a broken record
Singing for the light
Just a broken record
I’ll never be alright
I’m falling in love, falling in love, falling in love
And I cannot sleep at night
Just hold me until it’s right, until it’s right, until it’s right
I’m just a broken record
Stop the needle before I’m done
I’m just a broken record
I know I’m not the one
But I just can’t help
Just can’t help
Just can’t help
Falling in love with you
There’s a part of me that will always yearn for you
though I know you don’t think of me
a part that always wonders what if
though I’m not who you want to see
a part that spins the possibility
though you’re already walking away
a part made of hopes and memories
though it was never me in your eyes
A madness, a sharpness, a bitter kiss
Loved hard, loved true, loved only
Sitting on a bench at the edge of the road
In the last light of sunset
Something in me feels broken
Like some sensor is flawed
I keep seeing you
In every aspect of my life
But past is passed
And I’m looking for the new dawn
But instead only this unrelenting light pours down
Illumination pinning me
A butterfly trapped to a board
I reach but I falter
Strength departs
And only plans make way
Light fading
No moment of transition
Only an end
Unwanted
How I feel about those I love
This patient ending
pull hooks knitting designs
made from bone
thirst building
heart punctured
bleeding out
connections fade
replaced by cold ache
simple desire for lips eager for my touch
capillary pulse
chorus make me whole
slow march
made penitent
shifting demands
a lost seashell
picked and discarded
I am tough to be in a romantic relationship with, I think. If I know where I stand, have affection from my partner, and we have communication every day then I’m OK. Probably even good. On some days great.
But if I don’t know where I stand, then I’m always seeking information to get to that information. Which means weird questions and anxiety.
If we don’t communicate every day for more than a single exchange, I begin to accrue anxiety and eventually spiral into a full blown spinout and possible depression.
Cold language or cold treatment can seem to be lack of affection. And it almost always means there is a problem. Maybe not with the relationship but with life or whatever.
This leads me to believe that I am not trusted. And cue eventual anxiety and depression.
I feel like this makes me high maintenance. Or be perceived as high maintenance.
Anxiety and depression reactions are not ideal consequences but they are things that can be alleviated by my partner just being there. In that state I don’t need solutions, I just need presence.
Those things seem like things things anyone would want?
Am I asking for too much?
Those seem like normal things to want.
This fade
this falter
this slip
Drink wild
drink deep
drink death
Hope beats
hope cries
hope sleeps
Wake dreams
wake needs
wake scenes
Let dance
let kiss
let linger
Turn away
turn away
Cut strings
Pelgris 