Pilgrimage

Plans bury themselves like roots deep in my bones
Words fragment on my tongue and fingertips
Unwritten
Unsaid
Each slow turn of the wheel
Marking passage to the possible
All my hopes burn like wildfire
Unchecked in a mind enveloped in love
I wait as one who having embarked on a long journey
sees the city of his heart on the horizon
And approaches
Steady
Knowing full well
And with light heart
That arrival means the beginning
Of our journey together

Patience

A desolate jungle bursting with life
predators… and prey
But not the right one
Animals burst from cover and spill out into the light
The cat watches listless
Only perking up when a particular bird sings sweet
Melancholy drips
Waiting for soft touch, for song,
for chance, for choice
For safety, for a truth spoken in the heart
And the soft crunch of bones

Amor Vincit Omnia

Love conquers all
I used to believe that
Down to my bones I believed it.
But it doesn’t.
The hand of a man now dead can rip it away.

And still I believed.
I still believed and fell again
And while we lasted for a while it ended
And I tell myself it’s because we were never that permanent love. It was just lust mixed with lonely and it wasn’t real.

And I fell again, like a meteorite crashing to earth
I fell hard
I fell fast
And though I exist in her heart
It never became
And I say that’s not loves fault, she wasn’t the right person. If the person is not ready there isn’t anything love can do.

And I still believed
And I fell again
And I thought this is it
What a great meet cute, we fell in love at the same time with each other’s minds
But the realer it seemed the more distant it got
Until finally, it was over, not once but twice
Because I’m nothing, if not gullible.

And I quieted and I healed
And I flirted but tried so hard not to fall
Until she pushed me off the ledge
But even then, it was just fantasy.
A thing of desire and maybe and what if that quickly paled as the reality of right there and so unhappy but I can’t touch you and make it better drove home the point

And then a butterfly flitted through my window
And whispered an idea, a what if that turned to honesty and honor and a love so deep I’m drowning in it
And as always, beyond reach

And the realization, that love does not conquer all.
It conquers me but now my heart is a corpse strewn field. Littered with dying hopes.

And the frightening idea, that it all might have been in vain

We see with hearts wide open-3

Surrounded by hearts in mending
Gold seams in broken veins
Pain and pleasure in the taking
But gathered her gently
Woken him fiercely
And all of us joined
In laughter, in lust, in desire
And compromise
All truths spoken and laid bare
Emotions riding the air
Love seeking and binding
A hope everlasting

We wake to the pleasure of our hearts-1

There are times where I must consider myself a beast
To desire to obliterate your self to satisfy my need for your pleasure
That you desire this as well gives me pause
Because I must consider myself your champion
A dark soul, a brightly burning messenger of the night
But yours
Not as a blade because this is not your necessity
But your tormentor
Your jailer
Your lover
Your protector
I must consider the line to walk between the obliteration of the self into a object of control and service and lust
And my ability to bring you back from that brink
And whispers sweet somethings
Engage in passion behind mere pleasure
And sit reading a book aloud for storytime
You are a joy I never thought would be

Good morning

Motes rush in binding to receptors filling the spaces too small and too big
Binding and converting
Feeding the colossal thing
Towering deeply
Landscape rises
Unsettling and disturbing
The too fast drumbeat
Driving more and more to sacrifice to this abominable thing
Structures bend and shake
The shift and tremble
Waves cascade into whirlpools of white and the darkest abyss
Popping and crackling fills the sky
The leviathan awakes