Symphonies begin with a single note

Precision breaks down
Passion steals fire
Tendons writhe waking

Two become whole
Surface from what was to
Shattered silence

Artless in frenzied glory
Panting breathe spilling out
Just begun

Let time stop
Waves and undulations
Wake tired minds

Demonstrate harsh lessons
In gentle bites
Hands making
What the foolish call sin

Lust wakes in the heart of love
Turn banked fires to lava
Until spent
Again and again

Skin and mind too sensitive to continue
Hold you close
Taste sweat
Quench thirst

Never enough

I am an obsession

I am an obsession
A candle made flesh
Fire builds to conflagration
Until all flesh pulses
Desire waking
Never enough
Until all fuel is destroyed
And waking from the dream
Find myself alone
Bereft of her
Unable to see futures
Who would love destruction
Who would dare stand in fire

Colors the mind sees, the eyes cannot

Days pass
Distance from the gravitic impression
Left by the indelible memories
Of holding you, your head on my shoulder
My head on yours
Smelling you under shampoo
Kisses to the top of your head
Clasping hand and kisses to palm
Memories burn like the sentinels of Gondor
Calling out
This distance between then and then
Making it harder to think
To breathe

Your anger
Your fury
Pointed as a sword to the sky
A call to arms
And I slip further into the chasm

Your blush
Your laugh
That impish smile
Brat tongue daring me to act
Fraying my control

And still
So close to frenzy
I wait
Storing those ideas
Those thoughts
Behind doors of stone
Waiting for the moment
When all will be
And like a never quenched torrent
Suffuse you
Wake and be mine
If only for a moment

Baking sorrow in the summer sun

Sitting there empty
Bereft of purpose
Echos sing out
Ghosts of laughter
Those sad eyes
Tears stain
Give evidence of what’s past
The pain of no longer belonging
Bright birds run in waves
Howls ring out
And still this hollow empty
Heartbeat stills
Hopes fade to forgetting
Painful pleading through scars
Just a memory
Of what should have been

Silent screams, unbidden, burst

Get used to the pain of being near you
Being so close and unable to grasp you close
This weight
Heartbeat clenched
Unnoticed until a touch sparks release
Light and silent
About what this feeling means
Lump in throat
Fear of what you’ll say
So many times before
Saying it
That spasm
The rictis smile
The I don’t think of you that way
The slow fade
But feelings denied break out
Break down in unexpected ways
It’s coming
And soon
I’ll find my voice
And speak
And wait
Heart heavy
Waiting for the event horizon

Eye plucked out and hung

Don’t want to feel like I need to apologize for falling in love
Too soon? What is that? Too soon for who? Sure I don’t know everything about her, so what? Learning about someone is a relationship. Seeing them as they grow and change and embracing those changes. That’s a relationship. People tell me that I say it too soon, that I should live in the moment. Where else is there to live? The moment realized is a byproduct of future planning but failure to plan is failure to realize. Love is always a Work in progress. That pure crystalline love that never waivers or changes is the fairytale and maybe that’s the standard people hold to and that’s why we are so unhappy.

When I say I love you it’s no perfection. No crystalline structure of atoms waiting for the right forces to shatter it. It is the messy growing complex thing that becomes as things change and accommodates new structures to become a whole. Not unwavering or unyielding but instead resilient and capable of change.

Through a series of missteps I grew used to apologizing for what I feel.

I don’t want that. I want someone who sees me and likes that I’m a poetical kind romantic who will spank you and play in dark and light ways all while abiding in a column of love. And sees that I go through darkness too, and knows that I’m there despite my challenges.

Even now I feel like I have to apologize for being too much. I want someone who sees my too much and knows it for enough.

Pressing juice from a stone

I’m awake and ready
Hands are steady
But what propels me forward isn’t ambition
It’s the thought of a day without
Can’t quite stomach not seeing in fleeting glances
Words and whispers
Laughter when she reads a missive
So free to be herself
Waking in realization
This path of the broken
Leading my hands
To learn harsher lessons
About what I want and what is worth sacrificing
Making and meshing
Not the temptation but the tempting
Calling me to actions
Pulling me unrelenting
To a casual touch
Out of sight
Talk six days a week
But time outside is limited
She turns into a pumpkin at midnight
That’s cool
I love Halloween
Learning the rules and hard limits
It’s complicated
But relationships are
And if you think otherwise
You ain’t been paying attention
Just pouring out
But I feel the almost closed sluice
Holding back
Just a little afraid
Not back from her
But back from me
Words trapped behind my tongue
I sound like a gibbering idiot once I get that far
When a bare handful of words substitute for the norm
Long rambling replaced and content without context
Lines and veins pulse
Pulling me back to bodies
Stopped wanting futures
It’s all too up in the air
A laugh
A sorrow
Kisses sustain
Speaking all my truths
Even the embarrassing of plans
I failed to execute
Because the reality was more needed
Than the fantasy scenario
No bones to pick clean
Searching for meaning
Just ask the question
Fear eats you up
And it lies
It lies