On repeat

I repeat to myself
I want to die
I want to die
I want to die
This litany slithers and drifts
This hope to stop existing
This dream that something
Anything
Will stop my mindless gears from turning
Until the crushing weight of my own words
Set my conscious mind to planning
But it was a lie
I just want the pain to stop
So at least
I’ll stop burying the blade deep in myself
And say
I am loved
Even if it probably isn’t true

Silk or the sword

The tenderest of truths
is the faintest slip of a lie
A truth withheld
becomes the well of tarnished voices
Until
At break
Effluvia pours free
Drowning dreamer and dream

A truth spoken
Cuts clean
A blade slick with blood

Cut my flesh
A thousand times
I’ll not fester in secret

I’ll be your truth
If you’ll be mine

Tell me

a truth
something painful or happy
A notion or a story
a dream or a hope
Of depression and manic
Tell me it all, leave nothing out

Your every scar or rainbow on your soul
Just don’t leave me alone in silence
Or speak lies for want of bright words

False reflection

There is a moment of perfection before
it all goes perfectly wrong
A moment of reflection
Where the past hangs light and the future looks bright
But it’s all crashing down

This edifice of happiness brought low
Spinning plates and broken smiles
crocodile tears brought tale of woe
Desolate in the crashing waves
Sink below and drown

Lost in the stream

Truth shifts and in the shifting,
tilt axis,
reveals the false flame of a love still burning.
Unreasonable and unrequited,
which on surface purity bend,
but on the making reveal revolution.

Bound desire to be desired where hope slinks,
carmadine gaze,
slick surface of dramatic turn.
But in the question we are free.

Free to fall, free to fail
Only cold burn to entropy’s lips
A kiss passionate and yearning
But slanderous tongue in rage

Bit back depredation, drawn blood
The taste of copper course down throat
Made thick with words unsaid
Lies made tangible by omission

Drinks tonight?

The frenetic shift as humanity gears up for one last throw of the dice. One last prayer to the gods of hedonistic delight. Otherwise known as Friday night happy hour.

The work week done and the salaryman, soft and pallid beneath his suit, drinks from Lethe’s waters in the form of cheap vodka dressed up in its father’s clothes. Martini glasses, olives and onions making that Stolichnaya beautiful to weary eternally hopeful eyes.

A thrum fills the air with people throwing out energy, a little too loud, a little too free. Crutch in one hand and a all too brittle smile in the other. Tonight’s the night to have fun or lay weeping in the gutter. Caution fluttering in the wind.

Bound for pleasure, bound to forget, shackled into lives we take this escape deeper into the grave. So happy to be let loose that we slip the cuffs back on in the morning. The crushing weight of a society that neither knows nor cares. Held together by people dreaming in a future that’s long dead.