Not a cry for help
Just crying
Overwhelming lonely
Paper airplanes
Filled with memes
One sided conversations
Trying to keep lines open
But bleeding out instead
poetry month
Losing value
Pull forth stones
Presented in facet
Bloody
Covered in bile and muck
Not all are rubies or jade
Just diamond
Just common brilliance
Made precious by forced scarcity
Simple
Transparent
Valueless
Made wonderful by lies
By marketing campaigns
Fire pressed
Jade and jasper
Forged by seconds ticking away in a roar
Until we can’t hear ourselves think
Until this is it
And a shaped piece of steel and nitre
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Losing time
Sleep steals thoughts
Feeds dreams
Dreams better than this
There I know why things happen
There I have a measure of control
Waking
Nothing has changed
Into the future by a few hours
Not nearly enough
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Outside the supermarket
You ask me for time
Like time is free
Like I have all the time in the world
Well
Maybe I do
But it’s my time to sell as I will it
Maybe that’s sitting in an office
Because they pay me to be there
Maybe that’s sitting in my car after lunch
Soaking in the heat
Falling asleep in the afternoon cause I don’t sleep at night
If you are going to stop me
Make it interesting
Pay me for my time
I have as few moments as anyone
Buskers and musicians
Always gonna get my money
Performance is always paid
I’m already giving to well researched charities
Why should I give to you in front of the restaurant wanting to explain why you’re here
Seems callous
I know
But I give what I can already
You asking me for more is me digging into my life and sacrificing
So you better have the monster pitch of the century
Or take the easy route
Play an instrument
I’m a sucker for that
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Four AM thinking
Trying to be normal
But I’m nowhere close to good
Wondering what’s next
What falls apart now
What longstanding relationship
Falls away
I thought the risk worth taking
But really
What do I know
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Tiny goddess
Slink quiet
Deathly shadow glides
Seen from the corner of eye
Look
Gone
Wake from deep slumber
Yellow eyes inches from face
Claws sinking in
Rhythmically
Rumble
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I’m no thief of dreams
I have
In arms encircled
In promises bled
Known passion
Known love
Each time blue flame
Burns higher and higher
Each time, snuffed out
This jealousy of possession
Why allow it when
Love multiplies
Those who are free
Give freely
Those who are otherwise
I cannot take what is not given
Your only cause to fear
Look internal
I refuse to be the cause of love breaking
But I will, pick up my friend
Hold them cradled in my love
And whatever will be
Will be
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Impermanence of hopes
Nothing wonderful stays
The only constant
A life without
Say you love me
And I know you’ll be gone
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Fires rage unchecked
Love burns through
Consuming self
Pain perfect crystalline
Unnoticed until
Caught scintellation
Raw
Unfocused
Burst forth in screams and tears
Heart pulse pounding in ears
Like a caught hummingbird
Gasps of breath
Empty despair
Love burns what it once illuminated
Liminal fire
Raged unchecked
What once created
Forged truth
Built sanctuary
Leaves ash
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Cyles
Pains fade as understanding rises
Understanding brings revelation
Revelation brings insight
Insight breeds interpretation
Interpretation plants doubts
Doubts burst forth in infection
Infection spreads to overthinking
Overthinking runs wildfire
Deprived of fuel, wildfire fades
Leaving only pain and uncertainty
Pain fades as understanding rises
Pelgris 