Veins

all choosing and not choosing leads down branching paths
each word spoken, written or left unsaid is a choice
each step, fast or slow, each breath we take

yet we feel these moments when something possible slips away
and we cannot help but regret them.  I don’t know if this possible slips away for good.  I don’t know if what I chose to keep on course with will be what I need.
I don’t know

Uncertainty makes us grasp and reach for the differing branch
the unknown, the possible always seems like the better choice
because that world is a fantasy
It doesn’t have the problems of the one we chose
Because we do not envision the problems, only the ideal.

And maybe it would be great, amazing even
I have the feeling it would be
But right now
Where I am now
I could not imagine life without
and because I could not
A choice, a word, it all had to be said
And decided
For now

Inspiration on the edge of a blade

We make our choices
Each one slaved to our voices
This pain is lossless
Format break me free

Hearts in chains
What do I know of acclaim
Accused of being heartless
Truth hidden in darkness

Break me free by enslaving me
Putting your needs in front of me
I’m in control but at a word it stops
It stops
It stops

This echo makes uniform ripples
And rules make it the sweeter
You’re all so distant but
Miles have no meaning when you say Sir

I’m the divisor of torments and salivations
Both
But my destruction is always a hairsbreadth from midnight

Waiting on words not spoken
Truths not muttered
And the question

And the question

Ask

I have only truth.

What silence brings 

Hope held in cold hands long aching
Heart bled hot close to breaking
Silence holds ponderous minutes
Stretched out
Numb
Shattered

A word softly spoken
A touch longed for but not expected
Reality warms what hope stole

Flying into the storm

The sun sets but day only reluctantly gives ground 

Those I need are embraced by darkness before I am

So I hold to this light 

Because I know it touched them as I am unable 

But, do they read this, know that my desire seen is but the smoldering ash cone of a volcano hidden beneath the waves. 

Winter Solstice

Today we Morn.
Today is the last day of Nights Ascendancy.
We morn the return of the sun.
But just as the power of night fades, Winter’s might is unleashed.
Let all this night Tremble,  on this longest night
On this day of Winter
Let the storm’s fury break and in the shattering
let night wake, Let winter Dance
Let Summer cower, for Winter is come!

Broken heart

You want me but not me.
Me who’s better looking.
Me who’s more successful.
Rich me. Popular me. Fantasy me.
You want the poet but don’t want the pain. You want the torrent of desire but don’t want the flame.
You’ll warm yourself by my heartfire but won’t open your own.
I’m just a bandaid, a temporary distraction from your life.
And you tell yourself, he’ll be happy for the attention, that it’s all just a game.
But I’m falling in love, because my heart can’t learn this lesson, won’t do it, refuses to see.
Not all words are true, not the way you say them, that these words they speak without connecting to their heart.
And my heart only hears theirs beating and makes a castle of hope.

Finding minutes

The cold seeps in
Tearing me open
A thousand words unsaid
Leaving flechette blooms

Heat rises
Blood flows freely
A thousand acts taken
Leaving indelible marks

Heart beats
Lips caress skin
A thousand choices
Leading me to you

I woke

Feeling the blood pound through my veins
Thinking only of you
My passion and my pains
This current pulls me to you
You feed the fires of my desires
But we are not a thing of the moment
We are bound by so much more 
Love calls us, passion builds us, respect guides us

I will not fail us. 

I will fight for you. 

Out of reach

You’re so close but I can’t touch you
So near but I can’t have you
I miss you when you aren’t here
Miss you every minute

But you’ve said you can’t
So I sit
Stuck between my need
My want
And the choices that aren’t mine to make