Look in your eyes saying yes
Entire body straining, enticing
Your fingers play along my arm
I wait
Inert
Without the verbal
Yes this is what I want
You’re uncertain
About my dominance
But
This is what it is
To be bound by honor
Poems
Hard lump in breast
Pain in heart
Like a fire
Poison leaching into bloodstream
Wanting nothing in a world without her
Shattered by how close we came
Shattered by promises
Bound by my word
I burn
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Day/Night cycle
A day without her
is a day without sunshine
but I’m learning to live in the dark.
Never thought I’d be back around to this
But then I never do
Always thinking that this is forever
’cause to me it is
She’ll never leave me
But will she ever stay
I can’t know
And my speculation
Is a cupful of despair and hemlock
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Too much Rag’n’Bone man
Counting down seconds
Waiting on time
Needing forgiveness
Haven’t found mine
What little is left
What little is fine
Peripheral vision
Give me a sign
Significant losses
Sigils and rhyme
Met with amusement
Tell myself it’s fine
Just want your hand
Your hand in mine
But it’s getting harder
It’s getting trying
I’m as lost as ever
Can’t wake up my mind
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Memories bleed
Hell bent on destruction
Can’t pull back from that ledge
Last shreds of impulse
Fading
Didn’t want a broken heart
But that’s not your choice to make
Can’t make P=NP
Can’t give up when I said Always
It’s on you to walk away
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A reflection in steel
These empty spaces
Filled with words
And promises
Calloused hands fading
Soft
Memories of what they did
Each crease
Hinting at
Stories I’ll never tell
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Hope’s remorseless steps
The weight of without
Breaks me with doubt
Forgotten inside
A light starts to die
Fading away
In remembrance
Body shifts and I shake
Hands start to quake
Oh, but the blade
Knows the truest is made
Quenched in the fires
Of yearning
This quiet alone
Knowing only roan
All I have loved
Stands the frozen dove
Caught between
With and without
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A spring prayer(translated)
Let power shape us
wake us
break us
Let our hearts sing
scream
weep
Life meanders
wanders
weaves
Wake with me
sing with me
walk with me
*note: Power in the original language in this context has hints of divine and sanctity
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Circular torture
I was caffeine free and sleep deprived
Thinking please let me out of this day alive
Driving in and out of consciousness
Figuring, doesn’t matter life’s pretty much worthless
Been driving these dreams for eternity
The last thing you want is all of me
Giving over
you say you can handle me
Thinking his darkness will wash it away
Finding bright thoughts that don’t fade with the day
A different man when he’s happy.
But I lurk beneath the surface
Like a trapdoor alligator
Waiting to catch him alone
He wanders cut off from the person who became as sunshine
Fending against demons in the dark
Sleep is a gift given to him by joy
Relearning how to sleep when it stops being easy
Leaves me in this state
Hoping that I’ll live long enough to be together
Hoping that I’ll die before I wake
Dreams grander than the life I’m living
Memories and glimpses
Waking to the loss
Alone
And the attempt to not sleep again
Not for lack of dreams
But for the transition
Surfacing
Into the quiet
Of my own breathing
Facing a day of alone
Fully aware
Without the haze
Of caffeine free and sleep deprived
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Is silence better?
I wonder if it hurts like I hurt
If this ache to speak
To be heard
builds and builds
Until the silence is broken and
All the words of inane small talk
All that’s allowed streams out
A trickle of steam and ash
Choked volcano
I wonder if this empty pain is one I’ll get used to
Or will I break
Waiting
Pelgris 