Author: Pelgris

Poetry and the future

Pelgris1 Comment

I wrote yesterday about a poem I had written for someone who I longed for who never quite returned my affection.

Today, I write about all the future poems that I will dedicate to the Goddess of my Heart.

I know, I know. Every artist dedicates at least one work to a current love. It’s inevitable. We are passionate about our work and passionate about our loves. It is inevitable that the two would intersect.

But I’ve dedicated many works to her already. Anything Hash tagged GMH is about or for her. Dedicated to her.

I’m a romantic. We all know that. But I know she reads these. And that is the best feeling. That she reads what I write. In some ways, everything I write is in dedication to her. She captivates me. I sometimes feel like a complete idiot. Because I write her and I ramble, as I am wont to do, and I think I sound like a fool. Maybe not, maybe I just sound romantic.

It’s the duel nature of the artist and critic.
Perhaps, I’m overly harsh in this regard.

But here I go, rambling again.

Poetry. It’s sometimes as little as a sentence and I am something of a minimalist, trying to distill down to the essential words. So that there is space for the reader to project themselves into the piece.

With every conversation
Your words etch into me
Taking up residence
in my safe places
Where my becomes our

The mind ranges back

Pelgris4 Comments

there is a poem I wrote more than a year ago.  Something that was for someone.  An unrequited love who was intimate and sharing and all the great stuff.  But only on her terms.  Only when she needed me. And only as a ‘friend’.  No this is not a ‘nice guy’ or a friend zone post. We were more than friends.  More intimate than friends.  But by calling us friends she got to minimize what we were and make it easier for her to treat me as disposable,  I think, anyway.  I never really understood the point of lying to yourself about important things. I wrote this and she was not interested in hearing it.  So it sat on a shelf. Really a text file on my phone until I thought of the perfect last line today.
It was all about how I loved her and wanted her in my life, how I saw specific things about her and about us and all that jazz. But really, i was just a toy to her. Or I don’t know what.  But it wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t good.

But I’m not sharing the poem.

Instead,  I’m just sharing the last line.  Because the last line says it all.

…
I love you
beyond your desire
to love me back

Ballroom Chapter 6 – Audio

PelgrisLeave a comment

Please visit the Site to hear the Audio

Musings on love

PelgrisLeave a comment

Love makes us fool’s, may I never be so wise that I fail to take a chance on love.
Love makes us blind, may I never see so clearly that perception keeps me from my loves arms.
Love makes us reckless, may I never be so cautious that I fail to risk little to win all.

Love is worth pain, worth bad choices, worth the how can I have been so stupid moments.

It is worth the risk. It is worth the effort.
Relationships are not easy. People are involved so how could they be? But where there is love, there is hope. Where there is hope, there is a chance.

Ballroom Chapter 5 – Audio

PelgrisLeave a comment

Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio

Sometimes sleeping sucks

Pelgris3 Comments

Just sitting around at 4 in the morning, unable to sleep. Or rather I did sleep for about an hour. But then my dream turned all creepy, with the door to my bedroom open, which it never is. And murmuring voices right outside of it. And I kept getting up to close it only to find myself back in bed, looking at the open door. After about 15 tries and rising panic, I managed to force myself awake. So I get to deal with that panic and being bone tired but kinda afraid to go back to sleep. And wondering if this is real, as all of the trapped in my dream effects cause this disjunction in what seems real.

Ballroom Chapter 4 – Audio

PelgrisLeave a comment

Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio

Ballroom Chapter 3 – Audio

PelgrisLeave a comment

Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio

Turbulent heart

PelgrisLeave a comment

Your song seeps in, moving through my blood, wrapping itself around my heart.

This rhythm holds me to brighter smiles and upturned eyes, grace written in the moue of lips and tone made madness of love, though burning set fire to coils and snap, synapse lapse,

break bread in dreaming but no salt to be had, the wants of memory and a spent shell casing pinging against concrete steps, finality in the cymbal crash, in the sodden thump and cascade, never more,

but the ravens merely hungry and doesn’t want discussion,

drape the sanity like gauze, easily ripped away when it’s purpose conflicts with the grey light of dawn and the question on your lips.

Cast me out but let me fly, though I perch outside your door or bake me in and I mistake the warmth for the sun, flick ash and sand and watch world’s turn but only this once

Say that you are mine and wake me, a dreamer trapped in the dreaming, last relevant elevator pitch meeting,

let passion claim madness, let hope claim strength, let peace weep pain or merely love me, as I love you

Ballroom Chapter 2 – Audio

PelgrisLeave a comment

Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio