The difference between honor and enlightened self interest is simply this: If placed in a scenario where you had to choose between your wellbeing and following your honor code, enlightened self interest says to act to preserve your wellbeing. Many people who consider themselves honorable, honest people merely have codes that almost strictly adhere to enlightened self interest. But there is always some thing they espouse that varies. Mainly to prove that they are not selfish, contradictorily. And when that point is reached, what decision they make is the one that defines them. Anyone can be good, can be honorable when it is easy, when their code is not tested, when they are not impacted. But to act against your self interest to adhere to a larger ideal, that is the definitive action that echoes forward.
I have a theory that I have seen played out over and over again in my life and in the lives of others. Maybe it’s me seeing patterns where none exist.
Maybe it is a glimpse between the seams.
In every relationship which results in love, there is a test. A moment where everything goes wrong. Some health issue, some natural disaster, some conflict that places enormous stress. How that test is weathered tests the strength of the love.
Some it shatters and the relationship falls apart.
Some it breaks and though unknown the relationship begins to dissolve. It may be mended bit most often it dies under its own weight. Or is buoyed along by complacency and comfortable.
Some it draws closer together. It creates from pain and destruction something new and strong. As it should be, the strongest creation is born from destruction.
This will happen within the first six months. The soft strains of music will begin to play behind the scenes. Each note bending around until the snap and catastrophe. In the silence, the people involved either build their own symphony or off key plucking or yield.
Maybe life is full of such moments. Maybe I’m just attuned to this type and so I see it. Maybe I’m mad.
Just a thought. A possibility.
To exert control over others through direct control is the weakest form of dominance. One should strive to display the virtues you hold as dear. Exert from the self outward. Support, demonstrate, uplift, correct only when doing so is beneficial to the one being corrected. Be honest with yourself as to your desires. But always with control moving forward. My joy is not in controlling others. It is from that control aiding them in their path. Allowing them the structure to become more. It is easy to take obedience. Harder to be a person worthy of it. And that is where the beauty is. You move and they follow, not because you have imposed your will, but because they have chosen to do so.