love

The blade of love

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Love is a blade thrusts slowly through muscle and bone, piercing the heart
The foreigness of the metal draws a gasp. It slowly heats to the temperature around it, slowly pulses out pain that tells us, this is love. They say that love doesn’t hurt, that it makes you feel wonderful, that it elevates you but nothing so wonderous is without a cost. Pain is intrinsic to the human condition. It’s just that some pains drive us to be more, be better people and some drive us to ruin.

No, love is a blade thrust into the heart. If we’re lucky, it stays there and if not, then it is pulled out. Sometimes, another pulls it out and sometimes we look down and find our own hands slick with blood.

But we collapse, because that blade was holding back the maelstrom and out pours every good moment, every word of beauty, everything right and spills it on the ground, drunk greedily by the parched earth.

We hold the darkness with us, we grasp what we can as the blade wrecks us, it’s always easiest to hold onto the dark.

But eventually it all goes, and we’re just shallow husks. Cicada molt, waiting to be crushed or blown away.

Song of the Day

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I hope this is the Song of the day. I picked it out yesterday and wanted to share it with my love.

Love and relationships

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Love blossoms for the most absurd reasons. A word, a look, a deed or a need.
But to grow it always takes the same things. Consistency, not boredom, not in a rut but doing the things you say you’re going to do.
Respect, not obedience or abasence but seeing in them your equal, your partner.
Honesty, voicing your concerns and your joys.
Communication, constant communication, not always talking but always trying to get to understanding.
Learning, each piece of them and yourself with them.
Growing together until entwined you are more together than singly.

Those are the ones that I know, that work.
Love is infinity, but a relationship is the bloom that grows from the spark. It must be treated as a growing living thing.

Do I make missteps in my ardor for you?

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 I feel that I must. Like I am making mistakes but that, perhaps, you forgive them silently. Do I say ‘I love you’ too often? I feel like, at once, I say it too much and that it can never be enough.

I wonder if I send you too many missives? I do send several a day, most days. I don’t want to wait to write it all and send it all at once, but rather send when my thoughts are freshest. But I know, maybe, it is exasperating.

I think I must be tiresome to deal with. Am I? To have someone constantly sending you little notes and posting things and just all of it.

I dislike feeling like I am being burdensome. And even writing this, I can’t tell if I need reassuring or if I want information. But either way, it feels like…I don’t think weakness is the right word. But something close. Like I can’t hold my own or something. Which I know isn’t true, but feelings care so little for knowings, sometimes.

Dream house

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If I am but a journey, travel my roads knowing my care and comfort. Knowledge and joy hard fought and won.

But if I am more, then know that I have many rooms and halls to traverse. However, you will never be lost for you are home.

Welcome always in arms made for you. A love of songs and silences waiting to be filled. Or left empty, to become a place for us both.

Ocean of sky

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This beach I make for you my love 

This song, this dream, this light

Walk with me in dreams and know 

Long distance

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I’ve never held you in my arms but I know your touch. We are souls long parted and now have found one another. And still, somehow, cannot make it to each other.

I feel a fool for not coming to you. To hold you close, our breathe mingling in the spring air. Would I be welcome? Or is it like most things and my heart is leaping past logic, knowing only that we are connected and needing the electric spark of our touch to be made whole.

That I love you is indisputable. Are you calling me on to Avalon or are we sirens calling to each other. I will not harm you, I swear it. But how can you take my word?
I could send you to people who know me. Who can say that my Alar is strong. That my word can only be broken if I am broken.

I suppose I just keep on and hope.
Though some days, some hours, some minutes, I am wracked with pain from a distinct lack of you.

I’ll see you in your dreams.
I love you, Goddess of my Heart

The things that I am

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A poet spilling light and heartsblood onto the page
Distilling down to a few simple words

And just this one thing more
A writer spinning dreams and realities
Bringing people we’ll never meet to life

And just this one thing more
A troubleshooter, solving puzzles
Setting things back on course

And just this one thing more
A musician, writing and singing
Reaching out to those moved by sound

And just this one thing more
A pagan, dancing with the storm
Sitting at the howling center
Soaked by the rain

And just this one thing more
A teacher, guiding when asked
Sharing everything I’ve been and learned

And just this one thing more
Yours.

I am yours. 

What burns but doesn’t consume

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She consumes me
every thought
follows a path
that leads to her
each action
coupled with the step
designed to bring me to her
She pulls me
I am a compass needle
She is true North

February – Audio

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Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio