fingers caress my lips in remembrance
Smooth glide
Cool and warmth
Pressure pushing me to the memory
Night blossoms around
Tongue tingles with the taste of her
Arms remember the curve of back
The boop of nose
Swirl against arms
Lightning storm cascades
Sparking fire
Spine ripples
Shaking
Yearning for the taste of her
Her eyes alight with stars
Kat
Waking from a dream in hopes of finding reality
The buzzing empty of a too full cup
No room for words spilled out in lemon frosted sweet nor deep bitter coffee
Diaphanous ponder lips kissed through with the shattered dream of a storm looking for a friend
Deep sadness pulls deeper into a heart bottomed out
Her head on my shoulder
A memory pulling upward against the weight of the spin
mine in a way that makes surface tension hold all together
Quiver and waiting to burst
Hard to know what words to say
When I’d say them all
Starburst bright
Liminal state of a collapsing star
Hand clasped in mine
And lips pressed softly to palm
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Cross bent lovers
Love is not a thing I know how to make
It flows from me, encases like a cocoon
Hardened shell waiting for going slow
To become now
Until burst forth as chrysalis shatters
Though, truth be told, not much visible change had occurred
Rather rewrite the inside of my brain
No longer drowning in depression
Brain still sad
Eyes still crying at times
But not looking for a way out in the explosion of brain and teeth
Not looking to jump into the sharks mouth for one last thrill before the bite
Reworked change but of the heart and mind
And what may seem at odds
every body responds to different triggers
It’s easy to wallow in the flowers of touch bloomed ecstasy
But more, to discover each nerve, each pressure
To make of us a discovery
Revealing beauty
Exposing us bare
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Rhapsody in minor
One note rings out crystal and clear
Whole histories and promises in it
Tumult and peace
Beauty and destructive renewal
All shattered by a rush to explain
What was said and what was meant
Attempts to see clear
Self deprecations
Attempting to make light of heavy feelings
Saying like when love is meant
But people don’t know what love is but they know they like the taste
Easier to compare to like and hold out heart for love
And this rush of explanations and words, words, words
Crash
avalanche
Stop
And the note
Fading in the still dawn air
Sings it’s melancholy
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A Sir desires
The touch of your skin is a translation of affection expressed through the medium of nerve endings
Endeavoring to awaken in you a fire which cannot be quenched
To know with a glance
Sure hands over soft skin
Eager lips made slow
Pressing lips like vise over artery
Tasting jumping pulse
Struggling to gasp breathe to synapse
Breathe deeply in ragged flame
Gifts given
Ignite fires
Kindled deep in bones
Leather and pulse pain
Bruises marking mine
Say ready
Say more
Say yes
I would have you in all the ways of imagining
Of experience and of desire
Not once, not twice
Until yield and sleep
But waking
Join in grip of heart
Allow me to wake your fire
Consume me as I consume you
Taking nothing for granted
Allow passion to rewrite your stars
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Tapped out juggernaut
wish I could turn off my brain
turn it off and just be happy
turn it off and just remember
turn it off and just be
instead I dull it
break it
sleep away my time
passing away
as if time wasn’t all that I owned
and these thoughts that just won’t shut off
wish I didn’t read a thousand interpretations in a silence
in a smile
in a phrase
learned paranoia becomes just paranoid
taught myself to see all the angles
now I see right angles in circles
and I just want it to stop
and when I’m better
and when your there
I feel like I’m normal
like I got it mostly handled
and who are those people who feel like this
every day
who don’t see a cliff and for just a quarter of a second think about jumping
who don’t lose relationships because they second guess themselves until their person wonders why they aren’t second guessing too
who don’t work themselves into such stress that they lose sleep
who don’t find themselves awake at four am, yearning
But that’s not gonna be me
I’m the broken brain and broken heart
But not about you
just some weeks are harder than others
and I don’t know how to say it’ll be ok while I’m being not ok and just want to be held
but that can’t happen cause I’m supposed to be the strong one
the dominant
can’t show weakness though I’m riddled with holes
holes papered over but still bleeding
Never fully healed
but sometimes fully functioning
hard to know when to start talking
and never have I known when to stop
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Wakes the beast
Sounding like someone crazed
Who wants every inch and moment with you
Love running perpendicular to madness
Causal lines stretching back and forth
Feeling insane with need of you
Your touch and smile soothing the waking beast within
Never further from the surface
In his den
He waits
Impatiently clawing the walls
Yowling battle cries to your pains
Purring out possession
Pin you down
Harsh growl
“Mine”
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Soft pressure molds the valley
I won’t touch you
Won’t sit in a dark room
Watching actors
We
Hold each other
Won’t feel your head on my shoulder
Won’t feel the pounding music bleed away
Straining for your words
Fingers trace across your skin
Kisses to lips
Forehead
Cradle your hand in mine
Kiss your palm
The uninhibited laugh at some phrase that buoys me up for days
All this
Lack
Builds
Heartbeat of need
Wells up
Breaks surface
I wear it naked in my gaze
That lingers too long on the pale sweep of your neck
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Sun held
No touch
No hand caresses
No arms hold
Thus the almost….
Almost palpable weight of heat
Pressing against flesh
Heavy
The only touch I know
Say I’m a lizard
To cover
The need
For you
For the twirls of fingers
Absentmindedly playing
For all the days of desire
Lost but for the sight
Of you
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Symphonies begin with a single note
Precision breaks down
Passion steals fire
Tendons writhe waking
Dreams
Inside
Two become whole
Surface from what was to
Shattered silence
Artless in frenzied glory
Panting breathe spilling out
Just begun
Let time stop
Waves and undulations
Wake tired minds
Demonstrate harsh lessons
In gentle bites
Hands making
What the foolish call sin
Lust wakes in the heart of love
Turn banked fires to lava
Inexorable
Until spent
Again and again
Skin and mind too sensitive to continue
Hold you close
Taste sweat
Quench thirst
Never enough
Pelgris 