GMH

Goddess of My heart

PelgrisLeave a comment

I know there is something going on. I know there are things you’ve held back. Personal, possibly important things. I know it’s easier to just walk away. I know. I implore you. Take the harder road. Tell me the personal things, tell me the fears. Tell me what makes you feel like walking is the best choice. I can’t fix what I don’t know about. I can’t reassure you if I don’t know what is wrong. Talk to me. I’m here. My heart and mind are here for you. I’ve been through things, seen and experienced things. Let me be here for you. Let me help or just be here for you. Please, talk to me.

Maybe it was a error or mistake or something else. But please talk to me. My email is pelgris@gmail.com. Please contact me

Hope

PelgrisLeave a comment

Hope there is a reason.  Hope I’ll find out.  Hope it’s a mistake. Hope it’s anything but what my brain says it is. Hope to hear from her. I’m burning alive, breaking apart; shattering reforming and shattering again and again, minute by minute and gods help me I’m listening to Bella Morte.

Blackout

PelgrisLeave a comment

My one link to her severed. I’m eviscerated, empty, destroyed. Hoping it is some kind of mistake, some kind of error. Clinging to that hope, but fearing, fearing it’s not.

Maybe I’m too much, too intense, too romantic, too everything. I don’t know. I never know, until I’ve gone too far. Said one thing too much.

Missing you

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I’m not sure how I do this but I’m missing you.  
Somehow, I’m missing your kiss.
Missing your touch.
Missing the feel of your hand in mine.
Missing your voice and your thoughts.
Missing you, though we’ve never touched
But somehow
I’m missing, yearning,
needing with a sense of longing
a sense of being homesick.
You are my home, my heart, my love

Waking up

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Waking up
I find myself thinking of you
the thought of you stretching as you wake
the simple pleasure of seeing your consciousness flood into you
beautiful
welcoming you to the day
welcome my love
welcome my heart
welcome
welcome

Summer heat

Pelgris2 Comments

The car sits in the desert sun. Windows shut the air takes on a quality not unlike flame. Into this heat, I sit down. Car off, no ac, just silence and heat. The pain of the heat making me aware of the feel of my skin becoming taught. The heat eases the tension out of my body. A tension I am holding onto, even after this forced relaxation. Something only alleviated by you. A word. A picture. And this heat bringing me back around, heartbeat rocking my chest. Air becoming harder, heavier. The butterfly crush of your lips to mine as we plunder each other, tongue finding treasure with each touch. Desire made tangible with the pressure of the heat.

Emotional shotgun – In love edition

Pelgris5 Comments

I want more time, more words, more connection, more touches, more teeth, more nails, more kisses, more sex, more sharing, more, more, more.

It makes me seem greedy or needy. It makes me seem mad. It makes me seem unreasonable. I seem, seem, seem.

What I’m really asking is will you stay? Are you mine? Am I yours? I’m here for the distance but my insecurities drive people away. I’m looking for yes. I’m looking for, of course. I know it is needy and I hate feeling this way. I hate needing that reassurance. I’m so used to standing alone but I crave to stand together. With you it feels so present, so now and I can’t seem to be, just be without a word, just a word. And I hate asking and I hate being this mess. I want to be a pillar of strength at your side. But I need that reassurance not because it’s new but because I don’t take it for granted. And that’s odd and that’s weird. But it’s me. And I’m spinning out not from depression but from stress. I want to make it all better but I don’t have the tools or the words and I keep fumbling about looking for the right words and I just want to hold you and not need to say anything