Quiet Sunday’s

We are all monsters to some and saviors to others
Neither is wholey true or wholey false
Until we can embrace this truth we will continue to find ourselves beholden to the trumpets of falsehoods
As we weaken our ability to see with our inability to accept truth
The acceptance of a lie will always make us vulnerable to more
Until we are mired in them
the only solidity is found by first standing up
And accepting that we are drowning

Far enough away to see

Coursing motes streak through veins
Each sharp as splintered hopes
Each cold as night with no moon in the dark of winter
Calling out
We are seen
We are known
And in the blind truth of waking
We find ourselves alive
Alive in silence
The deep quiet that shakes the world
Slower breathes
Deeper
The kiss of a world made distant by constant noise
Rediscovery
With the vain hope of holding on
To a few more hours
Of being whole

Bent penny dreams

lives too full of living
Look for some future to slow down
Breaking ourselves apart
To gain a moments respite
We cost ourselves a life
Hours of days spent in the service of the wealth of others
Gaining just enough to get by
Just enough to numb ourselves
To start all over again
I wish I could be the firebrand
Setting brush fires in fallow minds
But who has the energy
Revolution ends in destruction
In the creation of structures that resemble the same that were burned
What’s the point
Money, false scarcity, power and the indifference of those who have those things
Taxes?
Pay your people more
Top down doesn’t work
A wide base spending more does
Creating more
Having the time to invest in ourselves
In the creation of health
In the settling of unquiet minds
Enough money to not be afraid
That’s all we’re talking about

Rough woods yields form

So easy to lose in silence
Hollow silence where not even the echo of hearts beating faintly thrums
Distant words waiting for unsaid truths
Always hesitant
What point truth which digs dagger deep
Which burns a familiar cold
Almost like home
Like tired lines which snap shape
Which make you feel like control is there
Woefully unprepared for love
Without presence
Light bleeds blue
Too slow to see
Bleed violet
Who gets to see the space between
Where pain is just what is
And hope is just words written on leaves
And tossed out
Answers looking for questions
Homes looking for love

The blade draws its sigil

Skip time
Nightmare to nightmare
Hour to hour
Waking up to an empty bed
Staring at the clock
Each hour sliding past
Waking again and again
Each moment furthering from you
That nightmare which makes waking seem paradise
Confessions made to the empty air
Tears shed in agony
Refuge broken
Sleep fades
Time to get up
Time to cast against the wheel
Made to love
Made to break

Brain burns without hope of tomorrow

There is a distance as warm lethargy drags me down. Cupped hands hold, eyes shielded from the light
Loud voices drift in
Talking nonsense loudly
As if to convince their last neurons of their spent future parody of truth
Mind fades
Dreams spin up
Nightmare into nightmare
Anxiety dreams
Wake on the hour
But at least I can sleep this time

Dry river remembrance

I’m broke down tear streaked cold nosed sleep deprived humanity
In other words normal end of weekend depression
Having to go to work to earn that money to live another two weeks and spend enough to feel just a little bit in control of my pain addled life
Each day begging for an end only to stumble through my door and collapse into bed asleep
Waking up way too early
To roll the dice on forlorn hope
Fucked up that chance is the only solution that I can think of
Broken bone words splintered in forgiveness without the chance to heal
Slow decay
I’d give up I think
But I’d rather be if at all possible
In your arms

Pressure wound

Eyes drift heavy
Sweeping across
Laying sleeping
Fitful turning
Each breathe labored
Coming ragged and wet
Dismay pulls day
Helpless
Hoping the waking brings peace

Stalks the morning

Cold seeps through cloth
The city hums and growls
Too quiet for want
Too tired to reach
Grasp hands
Settle into sleep
Carried into dream
By the stark need to be near