Compulsion

I feel my stagnation, a hell of creation, founded on my dreams that crumbled away while seeking damnation

I’m a false poet, or do I mean prophet, lost on the way to all that was get,

I founded my life on violence and sex then foundered on the shoals of a love that Pierced me, broke me apart and reworked me, she traveled through space and time and unearthed me

I was buried in the dirt of my own ambitions, trapped by admonitions, saying make money is the way to be happy even if it comes at the expense of your soul, these fleeting lives all have a price and a cost and I have paid for it all in bloody coins

But pulled from the ground I was raw and without skin, so used to trapping my heart in stone that to feel her hands was blood on the blade pressed against lips, and last dribble of false desire fell away and it was this pain, this agony that I needed and yearned for but trapped in the earth there was no way to feel the wind and the rain

She comes a storm and I break beneath her until her name whispers through my heart and I see the truth behind the veil and I know, and I reach that tremulous control and hold her storm in cupped hands, so easy to break her now, but instead I breathe power into her swirling winds and a maelstrom breaks to freedom and waits like outstretched hands to be joined and like that

The storm ends

And I am left broken in mud, covered in blood and bone come pattered back to too still earth, no longer stood astride like giants, just broken and soft and dreaming, dowsing, seeking, looking for a hand to see and know and wake

Intellectual pansexual

Give me a moment to break down my crimes
Of loving too quickly
Of compliments sublime
You think of me ‘cheesy’
You think me a liar
How could he love me
He’s seen hide nor hair

None of that matters you’ll hear me exclaim
I’ll wait for your plane
And should it be that a girl called Kelly is a tall bearded man called Bruce,
Kelly is who you feel like
I’ll say Kelly, my love, and climb you like a tree
Tell me the truth next time
Speak it to me

Shallow rising of a setting sun

Give me a taste of these things that I waste
Burn me up
Beyond recognition
Can’t find ruptures
Once the skin’s broken in

Last rapturous voice
Calling me from the grave
But I can’t settle
You woke me up
But test my mettle
And found it wanting

I’m still forming
Sky metal warming
Beat me to shape
My purpose is warring

But those days are past
Never was official
Just a man with a business card
And his hand out

Waking up to a reality I can’t know
Finding life amid the wreckage
But pieces stick
They’re vestige

A woken dreamer
Last memories spill across the page

Losing sleep

Never knowin where this is all going
just broken
sifting sand looking for a emerald
that’s too general
not looking for money
it’s ephemeral
this life is not perfect
but some people make it worth it
friends and family
they just want the best for me

they don’t understand what that is though
I’m getting to the point where I don’t know
just looking for that spark that moment
when light shines and its all made clear
it’s misleading
mind knows the truth then I start thinking
let grief and fear cloud my feelings
I’m just sinking
waves got me drowning
ocean pulls me under
and makes me wonder if this peaceful sleep is the last thing I’ll choose
but I’ll never go quietly, out like a bang not a whimper
I’ll never be nearer

this hollow maze guides me back to choices made for me
heart that’s full to bursting
alleviate the pressure
fantasy never quite resolving to reality
words are both my truth and my victim
light myself on fire to light your way home to me
but talking to an empty room
it all just ends so soon
endings take care of themselves
but beginnings and middles can last forever
if we work at it
and if it ends
transform to bring me back to you
or break free from your cage and find me no longer in dreams but in the real
woken up to reality which makes sleep a enemy
not wanting to take a step further away from you
even as dreams pull me under

Fickle muse-playing with lyrics 

Accept me as I am
or reject me
but I am no object
to be picked up then discarded
for I have departed
beyond this veil of light and life
I come to you hard hearted
but watch me melt in sunshine rays
give me my glory
my past is my story
another word, another note
I’m past thinking that’s all she wrote
give me your hand
I swear I’ve got a plan
though they mostly involve asking you to stay
I’m a forever kind of lover
but leave me at the altar
and I’ll find another
my heart is too full to falter
my core is emotion
and emotion speaks poetry
to the last you’ll know it’s me
I may be to shy to say it in time
but I’ll always
know how
to say it
in rhyme

Sussurra

And I’ll falter through my falling lines
Dancing my depression
Remembrance of the passing time
It’s sifting down to sadness
Our drinking has reached its peak
And brought a passing semblance
Of passion that is ours to keep
A welcoming of madness

A drifting dream
I seek to wake
And claim a rightful lightness
But ere I dream
I’m lost to sleep
And drinking only darkness

Nightshade

There is a bloom that grows
In shades and shallow groves
It smells of wildness and woes
But still it blooms
And still it grows

I’ve found this bloom on nights awander
Where minds do flit and emotions ponder
And sleeping now, I grow to wonder
Where it goes when all do slumber

Perhaps of self, it is agleam
Or bound in burrow, in silt of stream
It grows and bursts, along its seams
To reveal the goddess,
The goddess
of dream