You get what you get. You don’t get to dictate what someone will give you, no matter how much you need it. Though, if you are brave enough, you should ask. You never know what someone is willing to do if you don’t ask. Not everyone can see the signs you are putting out into the world.
needing
Dreams precede
She waits for me when I close my eyes, delighted that I have come back to her. Who are you? I sent out a call and you appeared in my dreams. I can feel your lips on mine. The warmth of you next to me, snuggled down in bed under comforter. I feel the pull of you. But I don’t know to where. I cannot direct my feet when I know not the destination. The advice would be to allow the world to move and as it moves be pulled to you like gravity. And that’s wise. But the voice of experience says, you must find her and be with her. Life is fleeting it says and each moment should be lived in exquisite joy. And I want the latter but I have no choice but to follow the former.
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Woke up
Woke up empty
Feeling only that I should feel something
am I broken?
Or still breaking?
Or is this nothing, what normal feels like?
Did I lose my emotions in the maze of sleep?
Or have I been feeling so much for so long that my nerves are fried and just want a break?
The one thing I can’t do, is the one thing I want to, and its just like deja vu, but different.
Maybe that feeling takes me straight back to beginning and only this thinking is what’s keeping me going, but going where?
Into your arms or simply delusion?
These words that I speak in the hopes that they’re heard but fearing these words because words have consequences and I can’t stomach the thought of losing what is almost but never was.
These words that I speak get me to the heart where I’ve been hiding behind hoping, so much easier to say good morning than say…
I’m hurting are you hurting too?
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On hold
Words left unsaid waiting for the call, waiting till the moment, waiting for resolution, waiting for beginning, waiting for velvet touch, waiting for sweet smoke, waiting,
…
Waiting,
……..
waiting
Pelgris 