Split Sky 11.3
This grey world
of maybes and waiting
Torn apart
silences and half said hesitation
Stretched out fingers
Fighting inclination
The touch of you
wakes the need
for more of you
Sound of your drawl
igniting long quiet desires
The quiet seeps in
Settling in between bones
In the interstices
Pockets of too heavy air
Robbing voice with grief
Hold you close
make heart known
See you in all the hidden places
Know and accept
I want you still
I want you always
I love the all of you
The soft drip of water sounds distant and hollow. The room I’m in looks to be some kind of warehouse space. I can see a drain on the floor and…what looks like hair spotted with scalp. I can feel my heart pounding like some crazed dubstep song. I know what this is. I can hear the part of me that isn’t floating in this pleasant haze of what I can only imagine to be really good shit gibbering and wailing in some small corner of my mind.
This is a kill room. Maybe a torture room or enhanced interrogation techniques, as I’ve heard the more cold blooded mercenaries we work with. I think they are going to kill me. And I know that I should care but I seem to only be able to work myself up to mildly bemused.
Oh look it’s the peach dress lady and she has some kind of cattle prod. Hullo peach dress lady!
She shoves it into my bare stomach and the prongs are cold. So amateur, everyone knows you keep them warm.
My veins pulse fire and every muscle in me contracts including my poor heart and for a brief eternity all I can do is scream. And in those seconds, I can see clearly across the room. The whole capture team has been rolled up.
The drugs recede a bit when the bitch in peach is done and she walks over to one of the blank faced sociopaths we use as muscle. Oooh right in the testicles….better them than me.
They still haven’t asked any questions. The keening in my mind gets higher and I can hear the whimpers escape. They aren’t going to ask anything…they are just going to torture us until we die.
There has to be something I can give them. Some link that will get me free. But I don’t know anything, I don’t know, I don’t know…
“Wait, please,” I scream. I swear I screamed. My throat feels raw from screaming. They had to have heard. They must. I thrash against the bonds in the chair I’m in and catch a glimpse of the redhead…that bitch the opposition uses for a chief. She’s rolling some kind of cart to the one team member I know. He’s a guy I grab beers with after the job, maybe we go back to his place and fuck.
He’s slumped down and doesn’t seem to be breathing…the sound of pleading comes louder now. I wish it would shut up. I’m trying to hear what’s happening.
They used paddles and revived him. I feel cold right to the center of me. How many times have we died? How many times?
*** *** ***
Tara is looking ill, Jen thinks. It’s time to get her out of here. She wanted to see justice done but I don’t think she can handle this. I’m sending her back to Pel with a note that she may need emotional support. In any case, it’s been several hours. He has to be almost done by now.
There are days where my bones are bells chiming discordance
Heart aching days where silence is my only defense through silent screams and sobs
Ugly crying trying to expel the pain of being
Feeling it catch in my throat
Too big to let go of
Days where all the pain is masked by being tired
Sleepless nights looking for escape
Unwilling to take what feels like maybe the only option
But knowing it’s a lie
That success is failure
That failure is one more chance
… To be something other than lonely
I’m a bag of broken clattering together
Making music that soars and sings
All from the painful pieces
Cut open
Hoping this time
This time
To be
Free
This furious fire
Coiled serpent lashing out
Looking for whomever hurt you
Wronged you
Encircling you
In passion
In protection
If you want it
Or just us fires together
Looking for new places to burn
Waking in the ash and dust
Rekindled
Each day fires wake
I’m the blade
No mistake
Make
Coiled flywheel passion
Spinning up
Building even as energy
Is expended
Exploration
each precious thought
Pressed to lips and tongue
Tasting
Purr, purr
My Kat
I burn
Mind turned
Eyes set
Mine