I would give voice to other than lust but find, in these haunting seconds twixt witching moon and the long dark, find my heart empty. Or not empty, but rather ravaged by flames that course through, burning out all thought but you. You, spread inviting on my crimson bed. You, legs pressed around me, back against the wall. You, pale ass tantalizing and taunting. You, riding, your eyes black with desire. My face buried in you, your hands in my hair. Your moans, your shudders. Your pleasure bound at the end of my tongue.

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I go to sleep now, to dream of the woman who abandoned me. Who left me standing at the roadside without a word. She left as everyone leaves me. I’m not even angry. Leaving me seems as natural as breathing. No I’m not angry. I’m disappointed. I’m sad. Wracked with terrible sadness. But not mad. I love her still. How stupid, how fucked up to love someone who walked away without a word. As if I were trash. Maybe I am. A throwaway heart. Used to make one feel better until bored or something better comes along. For a long time, I didn’t open my heart to anyone. But at least I knew in my bones that if Morgan had had a choice she would have chosen me. Maybe she was it. The only one who could love me. No one else seems to, at least for any length of time.