Lust fades to memories – repost

I would give voice to other than lust but find, in these haunting seconds twixt witching moon and the long dark, find my heart empty. Or not empty, but rather ravaged by flames that course through, burning out all thought but you. You, spread inviting on my crimson bed. You, legs pressed around me, back against the wall. You, pale ass tantalizing and taunting. You, riding, your eyes black with desire. My face buried in you, your hands in my hair. Your moans, your shudders. Your pleasure bound at the end of my tongue.

But you are far away from me, We are long lost to each other and I am alone. Sitting in the pale light of approaching dawn.

Crossroads as spoken word and musings

This is a audio file so it will need to be listened to on the site.

 

Crossroads

I’m waiting at the crossroads
Ashiver all with fear
The darkness has long fallen
Something felt draws near
Quiet muffles all
but the pounding blood

Leave me in the shallows
Leave me to the pain
But find me on the morrow
Between the dusk and dawn
Just sitting at the crossroads
Just looking all around

I have loved and I have fallen
Lived and I have dreamed
Just waiting at the crossroads
Waiting to begin

Pax West formerly Pax Prime

In one months time, I will be in Downtown Seattle for PAX. It’s a gamers convention. One I have, in the past, thoroughly enjoyed. I go now because if I don’t, I will lament it. Though it is a culture I feel increasingly out of place in. I just don’t play many games anymore. As the demands on my time, with writing and relationships and work, have increased. My times spent playing games decreased. It’s not that I enjoy them any less, merely that I don’t immediately turn to them as my entertainment outlet. If my friend were not going, I would not go on my own.

I think as the years have worn on the distinct flavor of this convention as inclusive has worn away. Much of the unique aspects have fallen away, leaving a soulless corporate shell. Since the originators have stepped further and further back from the organizing of the event, so too has many of the personal touches gone away. It runs efficiently now but much of the character is missing. I may spend more time in the local Rum bar than at the convention.

If anyone lives in or will be in the Seattle area and wants to meet up or hang out, drop me a line at Pelgris@gmail.com

Depressed musings-no need to read just need to publish

I go to sleep now, to dream of the woman who abandoned me. Who left me standing at the roadside without a word. She left as everyone leaves me. I’m not even angry. Leaving me seems as natural as breathing. No I’m not angry. I’m disappointed. I’m sad. Wracked with terrible sadness. But not mad. I love her still. How stupid, how fucked up to love someone who walked away without a word. As if I were trash. Maybe I am. A throwaway heart. Used to make one feel better until bored or something better comes along. For a long time, I didn’t open my heart to anyone. But at least I knew in my bones that if Morgan had had a choice she would have chosen me. Maybe she was it. The only one who could love me. No one else seems to, at least for any length of time.

Dealing with open wounds

Time heals nothing. It’s our fading memories that give rise to this statement. We forget. The closest I get to forgetting is compartmentalizing those experiences into a specific mindstate. I might even code the mindstate to a locale. I sometimes wish my mind allowed me to forget completely. But then I’ll recall a conversation or a smile or dancing with Morgan. I’ll recall a kiss or a touch. And as much as these memories are melancholic, I would not trade them for the temporary comfort of forgetting. Of losing them.

7 words to make a person fall in love

I will never stop communicating with you
I will never deliberately cause you pain
I desire to make your dreams manifest
All else pales in comparison to you
Just wondering, will you dance with me
I collect wine. Would you like some?
I want to know all your thoughts