Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio
Ballroom Chapter 5 – Audio
Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio
Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio
Just sitting around at 4 in the morning, unable to sleep. Or rather I did sleep for about an hour. But then my dream turned all creepy, with the door to my bedroom open, which it never is. And murmuring voices right outside of it. And I kept getting up to close it only to find myself back in bed, looking at the open door. After about 15 tries and rising panic, I managed to force myself awake. So I get to deal with that panic and being bone tired but kinda afraid to go back to sleep. And wondering if this is real, as all of the trapped in my dream effects cause this disjunction in what seems real.
Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio
Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio
Your song seeps in, moving through my blood, wrapping itself around my heart.
This rhythm holds me to brighter smiles and upturned eyes, grace written in the moue of lips and tone made madness of love, though burning set fire to coils and snap, synapse lapse,
break bread in dreaming but no salt to be had, the wants of memory and a spent shell casing pinging against concrete steps, finality in the cymbal crash, in the sodden thump and cascade, never more,
but the ravens merely hungry and doesn’t want discussion,
drape the sanity like gauze, easily ripped away when it’s purpose conflicts with the grey light of dawn and the question on your lips.
Cast me out but let me fly, though I perch outside your door or bake me in and I mistake the warmth for the sun, flick ash and sand and watch world’s turn but only this once
Say that you are mine and wake me, a dreamer trapped in the dreaming, last relevant elevator pitch meeting,
let passion claim madness, let hope claim strength, let peace weep pain or merely love me, as I love you
Please Visit the Site to Hear the Audio
Tomorrow I will begin posting the audio version of the Story Ballroom. A heads up if you will.
There is a thing in movies and TV shows and in books where despite everything that the protagonist does, every action taken. Despite it all, the person they love is killed or dies. And it destroys me each time. It rips my chest open and for a minute it’s like the door is opening again and I see her, laying there, dying all over again. Every time.
No matter how much time passes, there are things that will trigger me back.
I’m torn between wishing I don’t experience that again and never wanting to get to the point where I feel nothing.
Because if I feel nothing, I will have lost that last piece of her.
But I also don’t want the person I love now to get the impression that I somehow love them them less. I love madly, deeply, completely. And I love you.
not running away, bad lyric. To you.
Fragments
Splintered whole
fragility
in the wake
of loving you
uncertain distance
immediate
fear wars with joy