Let who you are free into the light

I hate keeping secrets. Even lies by omission hurt.

I spent a portion of my youth on secrets. On lies. It almost killed me. It came close. At the end, all I had was money, scars, and grey hair. The money is gone. The scars are mostly faded. The grey hair stayed. And a deep abiding pain that accompanies lies.

I spent years clawing out of various closets. Sexuality, society, BDSM. And at the end of it, I found peace.

But still people want me to hide. To be discreet. To say it’s no one’s business but ours.

But let me tell you. It may be no one’s business but ours, but it’s on them to turn their heads. Hiding is lying. Discretion is fine, but it should not stop a kiss or a hug or holding hands. If it does then that’s fear.

Just because I can hide or lie; Because I practiced for years, doesn’t mean I enjoy it. I loathe it.

I understand why hiding may be necessary. If life or liberty is on the line. But if not? It’s not worth the cost.

And sometimes, even life and liberty are not enough. We should be who we are. Shout it from the rooftops. And to those that would silence us, let them reap the consequences. Let them fear.

I said I didn’t like lying. I didn’t say I’d forgotten my past.

Closets are for clothes

I don’t want to be your secret but rather your celebration
a love that’s hides in shadows
Is as false as the lies that you tell to keep us separate
Separate from your ‘normal’ life
Your family wouldn’t understand
How nice for them that you consider their feelings instead of my own
Your friends would not accept this
Well, some friends you have that would reject you for love
This is fear
Base fear
Your joy is worth the loss of people who wouldn’t love you if they knew you
I am worth the peril of walking unfettered in daylight
You need not face it alone

Or fear can embrace you, hold your heart and kiss you. Because it will not be I

Behind the bedroom door is for specifics
For the rest
I’ll not be your secret
Rather crowed from the rooftops
Than whispers and sly looks

Cause, honey, everyone knows already.
You are just letting them define the narrative